As a normally humorous human being you must realize that underneath humor is always pain. That's what antidepressants and therapy are for! And I make use of both! Isn't it amazing though how much time you have to reflect on the good and bad things in your life when you have a child barely over 2 feet to watch all day long? You'd think that you'd reflect less but oh no, when you have nothing to do but take a walk in the park, your brain does double duty. Wouldn't it be great to find a way to turn off your brain for a little while? Without the use of drugs. And drugs, by the way, have never been very useful for my semi manic brain. Especially marijuana. I am the worst pot smoker of all time. Or was. I haven't smoked a dubie since they referred to them as dubies. Okay, maybe not that long ago. But, pot makes me anxious and paranoid and HUNGRY. Weirdly, cocaine was a bad drug for me too. Most people would be chatting away full of ideas that would never come to fruition while I'd be grinding my teeth in a corner trying to stay away from the guy in the Black Sabbath T-shirt. I haven't done cocaine in a very long time. Like 2 weeks. Okay almost 20 years. God I'm old. Too old to have every tried ecstacy too. Isn't it funny to be at an age where the thought of trying a new drug is just ludacris? I know I spelled that wrong. Probably spelled Ludacris more like the rapper. But that just shows how hip I still am. I may not be going to a rave high on X but I know who a couple of rappers are. So there. Fuck all y'all!