When you become a mother you have THIS IDEAL OF HOW YOU WILL RAISE YOUR CHILDREN. Occasionally you witness another mom doing or saying something to their children and you think, at least I have it more together than her. Then YOU have a day in which other mothers are thinking the same thing about you. Yes, mothering is a very humbling job.
Yesterday was my day from hell. I failed as a mother and am probably the talk of my cul-de-sac. It was my morning to sleep in until 8:00. Whoo Hoo! The girls were downstairs with Jeff. Suddenly, I am startled from my precious sleep by, " Ella! Get into time out NOW." I race downstairs to see what had happened. She had thrown her red kool-aid laced with amoxicillin on the carpet. She hates to take her medicine, so that is they only way we can get her to drink it. I rush to clean up the large stain splattered over my carpet. I then realize that we are out of carpet cleaner. Jeff takes off to home depot to pick some up. Ella is sobbing in the corner. I sit down with her to "talk it out." She swats at me and says, "go away mommy". I scooped her up and put her in her room. I worked for about 10 minutes on the carpet and then went upstairs to talk to her again. Claire at this time was happily playing in her little kitchen. After about 5 minutes of talking to Ella and helping her clean her room I hear..."Excuse me? Excuse me from downstairs. I run down the stairs. Who the heck is in my house? I am wearing a tank top, no bra, shorts and my eyes resemble a raccoon with last nights mascara still clinging on. The woman is holding Claire and says with certain reproach, that "your child was five houses down running around." Oh my Gosh!!! I thanked her profusely, still unable to digest the magnitude of the situation. She began walking out the door and said in a haughty voice, "perhaps you need to take better care of your child." WTF??? OK I was too frazzled to say anything. Apparently, Claire had opened the front door and went out for a stroll in her jammies while i reprimanded Ella. A little teary eyed, self esteem shot I walked into the kitchen just in time to discover that I had forgotten to put the coffee cup under the coffee maker...yep, coffee was everywhere ruining my handmade Halloween cards. I madly rush to clean things up, cursing myself as I cleaned. Then another knock on the door. Someone had found my dog. She had escaped with Claire. I began sobbing, Jeff was still not back with the carpet cleaner after an hour and a half.
I was picturing CPS showing up questioning my parenting abilities. I played over and over the things that COULD have happened to sweet Claire. Then I thought about the woman that brought her back to the house. She must think so little of me. Oh well... I am a mom, I am not perfect, but I try. That little turkey Claire will be the death of me!