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“A Reverse Pregnancy”

Posted Oct 03 2008 11:32am

Selfhood begins with a walking away, and love is proved in the letting go.”

- Robert Cecil Day-Lewis


“I take a very practical view of raising children.  I put a sign in each of their rooms:Checkout Time is 18 years.”

- Erma Bombeck


This week my oldest daughter flies out of our nest, to a dorm room far away.  Her and her roommate have been getting to know eachother through email.  She told me they talked about how goofy their parents are acting this week.

And I am…I practically lost it in the the grocery store the other night realizing that it would be the last time in a long while that I would be pulling her favorite things off the shelves.


Recently my son’s fiance and I were talking about how much we are going to miss her.  I told her it took nine months to let go of my son when he moved out on his own.  For nine months I loaded his arms with food whenever he took leave of our house to his apartment.  Finally he told me, “Mom, I do have money. I buy food and eat”.  I think that was my ”let go” moment.


My almost daughter-inlaw responded—“Nine months, that’s like a REVERSE PREGNANCY!” 


I think she came up with the perfect metaphor for this process of letting our children go.  So today, I’m announcing that I am ”Reverse Pregnant”, with my second child.


*I wrote this post earlier this week.  My daughter is now settled into her dorm room and meeting new friends. My husband and I returned home yesterday from the long trek of taking her there. 

Last night I walked into her bedroom and it set off a good cry.  This morning I feel at peace and find myself smiling thinking of the adventure she has begun.  Imagine this is what it will be like for awhile, waves of feelings…(Reminders of my pregnancy with her…waves of hormones.  And so begins my second…”Reverse Pregnancy”.)

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