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It is Boring in NJ for a 20 Year Old

Posted Jan 27 2009 6:40pm
Much like many other under age kids in this country, when I was 20 I left my house to intentionally commit a crime. I went to get myself a good 'ol fake ID. For drinking. Lots and lots and lots of alcohol. Yes, me a lush. I am Irish after all, I can't let my peoples down like that.

I set off with a friend of mine and entered a strangers basement filled with DMV paraphernalia, oversized backdrops and computers. I died and went to felony heaven. For $40 I received not one but TWO fake NJ drivers licenses stating that I was indeed 21 years of age. You know what I did with that? I took my ass to South Beach Miami and partied my ass off.* I drank like I had never drank before and nobody in Florida questioned my ID. I finally had a taste of a 21 year olds life, and I was loving it.
The real test was in NJ.

I came back and tried my hand at a few bars and clubs in my area. It worked! I was in heaven. My kidneys were not.
I got cocky.

One Saturday night we went to a small bar in the next town over. I got a bad feeling about it. I tried to talk my friend, her boyfriend and his friend out of going in. They were all over 21 and thought I could pull it off. AS I got closer to the door I saw how hard the bouncers were looking at the ID's. I felt dizzy, I tried again to back off. My friends persisted. I was last in, the bouncer checked my ID out, asked my birthdate, took out the old flashlight. Then he asked a colleague what he thought.
That was when I knew it was all over. That is when I noticed the wall behind him. The wall was filled with fake ID's they had confiscated. I knew I was done.

He took my ID with 2+ months to go until my 21st birthday! How dare he! The fellow we were with was in the process of becoming a cop and tried to talk the bouncer into giving me back my ID, but he failed miserably.
Now I had 2 months of sobriety until my big birthday. It was a loooonngg 2 months.

I never went back to that bar, partly because of spite and partly because I couldn't bear to see my little face hanging on a shitty bar wall with all of those other common criminals.

:sigh: Figures, it was my only great license picture.


* More on this trip in another post.
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