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It’s all a bunch of tree hugging hippie crap.

Posted Jul 19 2012 8:52am

As I mentioned a couple weeks ago, I have been having serious trouble staying awake lately. I am tired all. the. time. This presents problems in many ways, but especially when I’m driving to work. I am tired of it (heh).

So, what do I do instead of going to a doctor like a normal person? (Sorry, Dr. Almost-Cousin Mackenzie)

I find some crazy ideas on the interwebz and decide to go get myself a BioMeridian Test. What is that, you ask? Well don’t search Wikipedia, because I just tried and it’s not there. Which means it’s totes legit, right? Anyway, a BioMeridian Test is “a 58-point evaluation that accurately measures the health and function of every organ and system in the body through key points that are connected to natural pathways in the body that correlate with specific systems and organs.”

Basically, I laid on a table with my hand in the air, and by pushing on my arm and various and sundry other parts of my body, this person can determine which of my body systems are working well and which of them aren’t.

But! We’re not just going to take her word for it – to back up this system, she put an electrode on a bunch of different acupuncture points on my hands and feet, which sent a signal to a computer. What it was measuring, I have no idea. But the good news is all my systems are working SWIMMINGLY. The computer screen showed me a handy little bar chart, and everything was solidly within the “green” portion.

Well, all my systems with the exception of my adrenal system, which is apparently all jacked up. When we got to that portion of the bar chart, it was not in the green or even the yellow – it was almost-off-the-charts red. I said, “I take it that is not good,” and she confirmed my suspicion.

This all sounds like nonsense, doesn’t it? Yes. But the problem is that half the people on the internet think it’s garbage and the other half say this test (and subsequent treatment) changed their lives. And that half sounds really excited and, well, we all know that I will fall for anything.

HOWEVER, the thing about my adrenal system being out of order? I could have told you that. If you recall, my grandmothers both diagnosed me years ago . I have every – every - symptom of hypothyroid disorder and have for years, but my blood tests have always come back just boarderline-normal enough for the doc to declare me perfectly healthy. Meanwhile, my hair falls out, my skin is dry, I randomly gain weight, my face is puffy, I struggle with depression, the list goes on and on. Even weird and random stuff like jerking and thrashing around while I’m asleep, which Andy tells me I do constantly.

So, while I am still skeptical of this whole thing, I am going back on Friday to review recommendations on vitamins and supplements that can theoretically help this. (For a low, low price, I’m sure.) I don’t know if it will help, but I am so sick of feeling bad that I’m willing to give it a try.

Lay it on me – do you think I’m crazy? Have you had experiences (good or bad) with alternative medicine? I can’t wait to hear.

P.S. As I wrote this, Kate came running to me and said, “Mommy! I just saw something on tv that we have to have! You can get wood-looking laminate floors for only 39 cents!! But it only lasts through July so we’d better hurry!” I could not make this stuff up. Gullibility is evidently hereditary.

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