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Irrational Ideas Which Cause and Sustain Emotional Disturbances

Posted Jun 02 2009 5:55pm

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Buddhist Temple Wishes - Kyoto,Japan

This passage was tacked up on my husband’s bulletin board at work.

1. The idea that it is a dire necessity for an adult human being to be loved or approved by virtually every significant other person in his community.
2.The idea that one should be thoroughly competent, adequate and achieving in all possible respects if one is to consider oneself worthwhile.

3. The idea that certain people are bad, wicked or villainous and that they should be severely blamed and  punished for their villainy.

4.The idea that it is awful and catastrophic when things are not the way one would very much like them to be.

5.The idea that human happiness is externally caused and that people have little or no ability to control their sorrows and disturbances.

6. The idea that if something is or may be dangerous or fearsome, one should be terribly concerned about it and should keep dwelling on the possibility of its occurring.

7. The idea that it is easier to avoid than to face certain life difficulties and self-responsibilities.

8.The idea that one should be dependent on others and need someone stronger than oneself on whom to rely.

9.The idea that one’s past history is an all-important determiner of one’s present behavior and that becuase something once strongly affected one’s life, it should indefinitely have a similar effect.

10.The idea that one should become quite upset over other people’s problems and disturbances.

11.The idea that there is invariably a right, precise and perfect solution to human problems and that it is catastrophic if this perfect solution is not found.

- Author unknown.

I sat and mulled over this and came right home to right it down.

Number One - “The idea that it is a dire necessity for an adult human being to be loved or approved by virtually every significant other person in his community.” Two -”The idea that one should be thoroughly competent, adequate and achieving in all possible respects if one is to consider oneself worthwhile.” and Nine “The idea that one’s past history is an all-important determiner of one’s present behavior and that because something once strongly affected one’s life, it should indefinitely have a similar effect.” ring especially true for me.

We could go on into a long discussion about why and how I should get over this but it would take too long to hash it out. These are those moments that long time friends tend to get out of you over time and right now I’m feeling like my long close friends are too far away.

I’m feeling like that coolness of  travel and experiencing different cultures can’t substitute for sitting with a cup of tea and a good friend. How many times do I need to start over and say goodbye to the people I adore? How many times do I need to say- I’ll see you on facebook?  and then we get to live our lives in sound bites. How many times do I need to look around and say- When are you leaving Guam? And where are you going? And I wonder if they want to hang out…I wonder if I or they have the time to start over?

The people closest to me- the family  I spent my holidays with have left. The person I called when I had a bad day has gone to a new duty station. Now I look around and attempt to connect. Those people have already formed “their” go to person. What a strange world I find myself plunked down into.

For the first time it bothers me.

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