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Important Advice

Posted Jan 11 2010 12:46pm
Often times, you'll find people sharing helpful advice, such as: how to succeed in the business world. How to meet and influence people. How to deliver a baby (only necessary if you're an amateur, unlike me). How to survive a monkey attack (necessary if you're afraid of monkeys, like me).
Because I love you all very much, I'm going to give you some important advice, titled: "Things to do at a blogging event to make sure you are never, ever invited to another blogging event. Ever.*"

1. Forget to pack jeans. Then spill coffee on your yoga pants, so not only are you wearing yoga pants, you're wearing STAINED yoga pants.

2. When you arrive, make sure your bladder is so full that instead of saying hi to people, you have to shove everyone out of the way to make it to the bathroom.
Once you've gone to the bathroom, stumble across a closet containing baseball bats. Proceed to tell people you've never met that you're going to need a Louisville Slugger tonight, "just in case" an axe murderer shows up.

3. Decide that this is going to be the weekend of NO UTENSILS. Solidify this by shoving whole cupcakes in your mouth.

4. When you meet someone you really admire for the amazing things she does, don't tell her that you really admire her and you're so excited to meet her. Don't even tell her that you think she has really gorgeous hair. Instead, spill wine all over her sweater.

5. When everyone is sharing profound, amazing, deep reasons why they blog, state that you blog because you like to hear yourself talk. It helps to have a friend back you up on this, lest anyone think you're joking.

*Before you think I'm being entirely tongue in cheek, I did, in fact, do everything on this list. I also had such an amazing time at Cupcake10 that I'm going to be a little--okay, a LOT--sad when I'm blacklisted from Cupcake11
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