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I need Jerry Seinfeld

Posted Dec 28 2009 9:59pm

Do you ever have those moments when you’re in the great white throne room, and the funniest thing hits ya?   Or -the vacuum is in complete recline in the middle of the living room and it just strikes you how very, VERY funny it is?  This is where I need Jerry Seinfeld – he could see the most mundane things and make them hysterical!  He should follow me around for a day – I’d give him approx. a year’s worth of comedic material.  I swear.

The comedy show Seinfeld becomes popular.

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And for your amusement, just a few tidbits from our week:

- Tonight, I went to the kitchen and expected the hot chocolate jar to be full. Because I haven’t had any yet.  Helloooo?  Hot Chocolate.  In a family of five.

- The christmas tree?  Oh, it makes me giggle every time I look at the poor, very dead, thing.  It’s needles have been curling up since about 6 hours after we bought it.  Funny thing how it never needed to be watered the whole month.

- And don’t even get me started on the vacuum cleaner.  It’s laying down on the job- bahahahaha.  Okay, fine.  Its busted and I haven’t fixed it yet.  But still… There’s some funny material there people.

- Christmas morning – you know what we had for breakfast?  First, let me tell you what I had growing up on Christmas morning – freshly baked tea rings, maybe fresh cinnamon buns, home made quiche, fruit salad or other fruit side dish, a selection of juices, and breakfast meats.  It was all very beautiful and home made and loving and all that domestic sh*t stuff.  And my dear husband, (absolutely no sarcasm intended – I’m completely serious here – I never joke about my breakfast food), brought us home a treat.  the kind that melts a girl’s heart, for breakfast on Christmas morning – fruit loops. And the kids and I – lets just say, there weren’t many leftovers of our Christmas breakfast.  Now, can’t you just see an entire Seinfeld episode in there?   The fruit loops episode.

- There would have to be an episode on the Wii.  That would be the wii we got for Christmas, and the wii that has engaged my, ahem, competitive side.  Forget episode, there could be an entire season drawn from the wii experiences of the last 4 days.  First – what is with those little avatars loosing a game and throwing themselves on the ground?  My efforts to teach the girls good sportsmanship now includes lecturing their Mii’s (avatars) to have a better attitude.  Like, I really needed to lecture some artificial digital dude on the tv.  OH!  And this morning – what the heck???  Megan is screaming her head off- literally – I go running downstairs after my shower, and find her standing on the wii fit board – paralyzed in fear – staring at the tv screen – and screaming bloody murder intermittently.  Guess what it was?  Rhythm Boxing.   Yeah, apparently in rythm boxing if you don’t move your hands to the rhythm, pottery falls out of the sky and bops you on the HEAD.  In their defense, they do alternate between pottery and POTS AND PANS.  Really?   REALLY?  REALLY??? Oh, and guess what game I’m super-de-duper good at?  The Birds Eye Bulls-eye.  And yes, it is exactly what it sounds like.  You stand on the fit board, and flap your arms like a, ahem, are you paying attention?  You flap your arms like a chicken.  And I’m proud to report I crossed the line from “unbalanced”  (like I didn’t already know that) to spring chicken. Oh yeah.

My life?  Its Seinfeld-heaven.   And how was your week?

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