I took the kids to the park the other day and it was swarming with kids, which was good because then I wouldn't have to listen to Cole and Bella whine, "Mommy, there's no friends for us to play with". I always respond with "well, you have each other...why don't you play together with one another?" and they both look at me like "huh?" Yeah, why would they want to play together when they're together ALL THE TIME? My bad.
I soon figured out that a bunch of the moms and kids had met there for a playgroup because there were about 8 moms huddled together, literally in a tight circle, as if to say to others, "don't even think about joining our little clique because we're tighter than tight".
I was standing in front of the play structure, watching my kids play. Cole and Bella had found a friend to play with, a little boy also named Cole who is at the park frequently. Everyone was happily playing when Bella ran over to the swings and wanted me to push her. Garrett and Landon were on the play structure but I felt they'd be fine if I took my eyes off them for just a second to give her a good push to get her started on the swings. And of course, just as I took my eyes off of them, that's when Garrett fell and got stuck on one of the bars so he was maybe 2-3 feet from the ground, if that. He didn't cry but he did scream out to me..."ma...uh....uh....ma" and I ran over to him as quickly as I could but not before one of "those" moms could reach him. She was nice enough to help him get down since she happened to be standing closer to him than I was .
I smiled at her, somewhat embarrassed, and said "thank you for helping him....he has no fear....he thinks he can climb higher than he really can". I suppose I expected her to smile or chuckle along with me and say "Oh I know...my kids are the same way" or "No problem...I'm just glad I could get there quickly enough to help him" . But no....the look on her face was one of total judgement. She had a scowl on her face and said, "you should probably keep a closer eye on him then". I was completely taken aback by this...I mean, it's not like I was far away, not watching him for a lengthy period of time. I was literally a few feet away pushing my daughter on the swing. I fully intended to walk back over to him within a few seconds after giving Bella a push. It's just as I turned my back to walk over to her, that's when he decided to test the waters.
I decided to keep my mouth shut at that point. I didn't owe her any explanations and she obviously wasn't very forgiving. While I did appreciate her being so closeby and being willing to get to Garrett before I could, I didn't appreciate her snotty, rude attitude about it.
I have 4 kids, all very energetic and all very independent at times....sometimes one of them will run off as I'm attending to another one. It happens...but none of them have ever been hit by a car, none of them have been kidnapped, none of them have ever been injured (not seriously anyway). I was offended by her comment....I mean, even if she thought I was a horrible mom, she could've used a nicer tone.
What I don't understand is why some mothers are like this...why do they sit in judgement of other mothers, without having a full understanding of the situation? We all have different situations, we all come from different backgrounds but we're all mothers, who love our children and want nothing but the best for our children, including to always be safe. There have been many times I've been at the park and I've seen another child fall or get sand in their eyes and maybe the mother either didn't see it happen or wasn't close enough to get to the child immediately, so I would help the child until the mother could come over. It's always been appreciated and usually it ends up turning into a lengthy conversation with just another mom, who's also feeling overwhelmed and split up into a million directions.
After all, aren't we supposed to be a sisterhood? Aren't we supposed to have each other's backs? If anyone can understand the ups and downs and the challenges of being a mother, it's another mother, right? We should be lifting each other up, encouraging and supporting one another, even if we're perfect strangers. Not sitting in judgement of one another or being critical....oh, sure there's a such thing as constructive criticism....but downright snotty, rude, judgemental attitudes? What's up with that?