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I Knew This Was Coming:
Lael Cuts Her Own Hair

Posted Jun 02 2009 4:35pm

Lael hair1 05.06.09 As I race my anti-gravity car around a bend, my wife sits next to me as we discuss work, the news and money. The kids, for once, are playing quietly downstairs. I speed around a bend, passing three ships at once.

Lael walks into the room and chirps in her happiest voice, “Mommy, I cut my hair!” She is clearly very proud of her accomplishment.

I immediately realize that Lael had used the little pair of scissors that Seth uses for projects. Even though I put the scissors out of Lael’s reach, she managed to get at them anyway. (Seth used the scissors to cut out a pattern out of construction paper he then shaped into a cube; the kid memorized the pattern in class!)

What to do? Well, I need to make up lost time because my anti-gravity ship was just blasted from behind. Unfortunately, Anne is unsure as to what Lael had done to her hair. Reluctantly, I pause the game.

As I run my fingers through my 3-year-old’s never-cut-before hair, wispy, curly blond strands float off her head. Nice. Speaking of detaching, I worry Anne’s own head is going to explode.

We warn Lael that she should never, ever cut her own hair, blah, blah blah. I resume my video game trying to remember how many laps left to go.

As Lael and Anne continue to discuss what transpired, Lael adds, “I cut Raquel’s hair too!” That would be her brunette Barbie-friend doll.

“Oh no,” Anne said, and the two proceed downstairs. I hear a kind of odd cackle come from my wife. “Oh no! Oh my god! Laaa-el!”

Lael bursts into tears. But it’s not what you think. She is not upset over the hair cuts or mom’s exclamations. No, she’s very happy about Raquel’s new look. Instead, Lael hurts her pinky on the stair railing.

Okay, okay, I complete the race, throw down the Play Station Portable, and jump down the stairs – with my camera, of course – to this scene: Lael is crying. Mom is comforting her. Seth is sitting on the floor reading a book next to the now bohemian Raquel. Oh, and did I mention the mound of blonde hair surrounded by clippings of brown/black hair. Click-click!

After some more warnings to Lael that this is a bad thing to do, I climb the stairs and start a new race on the PSP.

Morning update: Anne is still upset about the hair-cutting incident. After all, Lael is the flower girl in a wedding in just a few months.

For school, I pulled Lael’s hair back because she cut her bangs and the locks on only one side of her head; the photo doesn’t really capture how funky her do really is. Unfortunately, we can’t take Lael to a salon until after school.

In case you’re wondering why I didn’t get that worked up about the whole thing: I have a friend whose son cut her daughter’s long hair to a bob. The moment she told me that story, my own future was foretold.

But I feel lucky and here’s why: I usually cut Seth’s and my hair using an electric razor, military style. I can only imagine what Lael would look like if she persuaded her brother to trim her hair using the No. 2 attachment.

Lael hair2 05.06.09   Lael hair3 05.06.09

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