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I fear for America’s youth.

Posted Nov 25 2009 10:02pm

So a couple days ago, I was sitting at my desk minding my own business when I got a text message on my phone.

“Heyyyyyyyyy!!! Its Jordyyyynnnn!”

Great, I thought to myself. Spam has reached the world of text messaging. I ignored it, but about 10 seconds later, I got another one.

“Its me Jordyn!!!!”

Thinking that whoever was sending the texts might continue to do so (and that it might make good blog fodder), I decided I should reply, not knowing then that I was about to engage in what turned out to be a hilarious (at least to me) string of texts.

Me: I think you have the wrong number.

Her: Noooooo [what is it with all the extra letters?] you know me. Its Jordyyyyyyyyyn!

Me: I do? Then who am I?

Her: Your Christian B! idk how to spell ur last name lol

Me: not so much.

Her: not so much what?

Me: that is not my name. you have the wrong number.

Her: No I dont. your christian! Perry gave me ur #.

Me: i don’t know perry either, unless you are referring to the platypus on Phineas and Ferb.

Her: yes you do. perry gave me ur ####. she is texting the same number and I know its u!!!! If ur not christian who are you then?

Me: I am a 30yo mother of two in ohio. I assure you I am not Christian. Or Perry. Or a platypus.

Her: I never thought you were a platapus thank you very much!!!

At this point I was cracking up, and I was also driving home from work so I didn’t respond to the text, and I figured I had heard the last from my friend. But I was wrong.

Her: I know your Christian… how else would I have gotten this number?

Me: I promise you I am not Christian. But I am a blogger, and this exchange is going to make a seriously funny post.

Her: I am really sorry, this number works from my friends phone. It wont happen again.

That’s right! Mess with me, and I will blog about you!

So anyway, Jordyn, I have a couple pieces of advice for you. A) Get some manners. If someone tells you you have the wrong number, believe her. Apologize and don’t call/text/picture message that number again. B) Let me introduce you to my friend, the apostrophe. It’s “it’s,” not “its,” and “you’re,” not “your.” And especially not “ur.” The apostrophe is also helpful in showing possession, as in “my friend’s phone.” Make sense? Finally, C) if this is what you do at 5:00 in the afternoon, make sure you never, ever drunk dial.

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