I spent last week at home soaking up daytime TV on the sofa whilst coughing, wheezing, sleeping and blowing my nose. I had a double whammy of bronchitis and sinusitis which was painful and ever so slightly irritating.
The soaking up of daytime TV went like this …
‘Wanted Down Under’ every morning with a longing look on my face. People from the UK are sent to Australia, willingly, for a week to see if they really do want to emigrate. They get to look at massive houses with pools, jobs that pay twice as much as their UK equivalent and the social aspects of life … lots of BBQing on the beach.
The fly in the ointment is always the message from home at the end of the programme where an aged relative weeps a lot and says ‘don’t go and leave us, we’ll miss you and never see you again … what will I do without you?’.
I have decided that we must move to Australia, immediately. What’s not to like? Sunshine, lots of outdoor living, a better way of life for our children. The Husband, a web and graphic designer, can work from anywhere. Who needs family and friends? *cough* … Skype? … I’m packing our bags. I just need to let The Husband know.
My other obsession is ‘Miami Ink’ … a reality show based in a tattoo shop in … ahem … Miami. I started off, on Tuesday, shouting at the TV with a look of total horror “Why would anyone want a yellow dragon on their arm? What a nobber” … “He’ll regret those stars on his face when he’s 50″ … “Oh my god, who in their right mind would want a picture of their dead grandmother on their calf?” … “That picture of a chicken attacking a scorpion on her neck is going to look stupid when she goes for a job interview.”
Four days in and I am about ready to have a full cuff (a whole arm of tattoos to those of you who are not in the know) involving a rainbow coloured pheonix flying out of some flames. I’ll also be having the children’s faces on my shoulder blade intertwined their dates of birth and a Salvador Dali moustache at the base of my back. What’s not to love?
My tattoos will look great on the beach in Australia.