How To Stop or How To Manage Siblings Fight/ Bickering
Posted May 01 2010 7:30pm
I hate when they bicker. It makes me insane, specially when I needed to write something and all I can hear is their fight. Sometimes I want them both out of the house but of course I cannot do that. So instead of writng, I end up researching on How To Stop or How To Manage Siblings Fight/ Bickering.
When your kids start arguing or bickering, tell them "Either you guys work this out, or I will."
They will, of course, keep bickering at which point you step in and say "Looks like you weren't able to work this out on your own, so I will. Go to your rooms and don't come out until you can play or interact nicely with each other." Make sure you tell them to stomp their feet as hard as they can and slam their doors loudly on the way (they HATE doing what we ask of them...my kids go quiet as church mice to their rooms. They aren't going to give me the satisfaction of slamming their door!).
If and when they come out, DO NOT DISCUSS THE MATTER FURTHER! The consequence is having to go to their room. If they get involved in reading or playing in their rooms, yipee! You don't have to listen to any more arguing! By allowing them to come out when they can play nicely or talk nicely to each other, you are giving them complete control as to how long they remain in their rooms. I don't know about you, but I don't care if they are there three seconds or three minutes as long as the fighting stops.
If the fighting resumes, back to their rooms and so on.
If they are fighting over a toy, the tv or the computer, solve the problem by taking away the desire object. That way they learn that they both lose when they don't work it out on their own.
Keep your cool! When you have to step in, keep your cool. When we get angry, they start focusing their anger on us instead of thinking about the poor choice they have made.
Be consistent in using this technique.
Mean what you say and say what you mean. Your kids have to know that without question you will follow through with the consequence EACH AND EVERY TIME. If there is any wiggle room, the likelihood of success on your part is minimal.
I wish I can follow all these steps. How about you guys? Do you have suggestions on how to effectively manage siblings fight?