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How to introduce your new partner to the kids

Posted Jan 31 2012 11:16am

This is a guest post that is really helpful for single parents who wants to date again or is dating and wants the child/ children to be involved with the new partner. 

Starting a new relationship as a single parent can sometimes feel a little awkward, and unless you have very close friends in the same situation, it can be hard to find people to look to for advice and support. It is important to remember that the reason you will have wanted to start a new relationship in the first place is to improve the quality of your personal life. It is your happiness that is the most important factor when starting a new relationship.

Although it can be tough on the kids and you may feel unsure whether they are ready to accept a new person into their family life, remember that your happiness will have an overall effect on how you interact with your children and the happiness you will feel from a comfortable and supportive relationship will have a great positive effects on your children too, whether they realise this or not.

Getting the balance right between what you want and what your children want is important. The key to successfully introducing your partner to your children with minimum disruption is to plan ahead to get the timings right. Make sure you are certain someone is going to stick around before you introduce them to your children otherwise the task of explaining why they haven’t come back could be next on your list.

Educating your children a little about relationships can help them to understand what’s going on. For example, if you were part of a culture of arranged marriages such as Muslim marriages , and your arranged marriage didn’t work, your children may find it hard to understand why you want to meet new people without the help of others. Telling your children why you like someone too can help them to feel friendly towards your new partner when you finally do meet. If you met your new partner on a site like you will be able to show your children a photograph of him or her, and a list of the things that they like doing. This will help your children find something in common with your new partner too.

Arrange a moment out with all of you – even if it’s a short trip in the car to the grocery store together or you and your new partner pick your child up from their school together – this will show your children that you trust your partner and can spend time with them and your child together with no favouritism, it will also show your children that your new partner likes to get involved with day to day family life too. This is a much better way to introduce the children to your partner for the first time instead of them coming straight round to your home where the children may feel territorial or that your partner is intruding.

Patience is the key, and the right partner will be patience with you and your children as they slowly become part of your new, happier life.

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