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Greedy geese, rabid chipmunks and wild bears…just another "family vacation"

Posted Aug 04 2011 7:30am
That's right, people.  It's that time of year again...our annual "same shit, different location" summer road trip to South Lake Tahoe.

Although this year, for the first time ever, we didn't have to worry about nap schedules, sippy cups, bottles and diapers.  All my hard work has paid off....well, sort of....because we all know a mother's work is never truly complete until her children have become responsible, successful adults (preferably loaded with gobs of money to which they will spoil their exhausted mother until her heart's content).

Also, for the first time ever, no one asked us, "Do you have TWO sets of twins?"  No one was the wiser and we were just like every other family insane enough to have more than 2 children.  It was super awesome.

Each day, we visited a different beach.  Not because we were anxious to see how all the various beaches in Tahoe differ....but more because Tim and I were too embarrassed to return to the same beach after having exposed the public to the complete annoyance that is our children.

Let me explain....

At the first beach we visited (Meeks Bay), my kids were obsessed with feeding the damn geese.  The same damn geese that other people were ignoring and shoo-ing away because...let's face it, geese can be greedy and evil.

And once you feed them food (or a human finger), they come back for more...and they bring 246 of their closest family members to invade your space and crap all over your beach towels.

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Oh, and geese aren't picky, just so you know.  They're happy to eat anything you have to offer, including the very last Cheeto which one of your kids had his heart set on eating...until his older brother decided that the geese were way more deserving.

The next day, we hit yet another beach (Angora Lakes), which we had to hike to.  Yes, I said hike.  Most people would imagine a nature hike with the family would be fun...full of great memories which would be talked about at many Thanksgiving dinners to come.

Yeah, we're talking about MY family, though.

This hike entailed lots of "how much longer do we have to walk?", "my legs are gonna fall off" and "this sucks".

Not exactly the great memories I wanted to create but there's always next year.

All was good in the world once again when my kids encountered a very hungry chipmunk, to whom the kids lovingly referred to as Alvin.  He happily ate their Doritos, while people watched in horror because chipmunks have rabies...don't you know?

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Thankfully, there was another family next to us who didn't seem to give a care in the world that my children were feeding rabid chipmunks.  In fact, the mother said to me, "We're always that one family that everyone stares at because my kids are so loud and...well, they tend to misbehave more than normal".

I patted her on the back and said, "Well, we've arrived...you can relax now.  We'll take it from here".

The following day, we headed to Zephyr Cove and prayed like mad that no one would recognize us as "that terrible family who's encouraging wild life to beg for food from innocent human beings".

Thankfully, we went unnoticed...for awhile, anyway.

Until Garrett decided to come out of the water pretending to be a wild animal to attack his unsuspecting older brother.

And being the awesome mother that I am, instead of saying, "Don't scare your brother", I grabbed my camera to capture the moment forever.

Because that's the kind of shit we talk about at our Thanksgiving dinners.

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On our last day, we went to Sand Harbor beach, where we spent a majority of our day catching crawdads and trying to convince Landon that he would not be forced to eat them after he loudly declared, "I will not eat any crawdads because they have butts".

I didn't have the heart to tell him that he eats all kinds of other things which do, indeed, have butts.

During the drive home, something brown and furry caught my eye.  Well, lo and behold, it was a wild bear canvassing the neighborhood for food...or little kids.  It was hard to tell.

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The kids became excited at seeing their very first wild bear in person, who Bella dubbed "Zoe".  I mean, doesn't it totally look like a Zoe?

They insisted I take a picture of Zoe so they could go back to school in a couple weeks and brag to their friends about the huge, mean bear they encountered on vacation.

So what did I do?  Pushed the pedal to the metal and got the hell outta there, you say?

I laugh at your naivete....while you laugh at my stupidity.

As the bear crossed the road right in front of us, I snapped this picture....from the safety of my car, people.  I'm not THAT stupid.

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Yes, the bear was the highlight of our trip, as the kids did not stop talking about it for hours on end.

And that, my friends, was our 2011 "Same shit, different location" road trip...in a nutshell.

Who wants to come with us next year?

If you need more excuses to laugh at my expense, read these other posts from our past "same shit, different location" road trips
I Left My Heart in Lake Tahoe (2010)

The Smoking Baby, Dead Bones, Captain Feathersword and the Fish Killers (2009 - Part 1)

Dining with Alvin and The Chipmunks and Other Vacation Adventures    (2009 - Part 2)
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