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Gold Digger, Noun, Someone Who Picks Their Nose

Posted Feb 27 2013 10:42am

You know the thing, about how kids say the funniest things?  Wait.  Just wait, until around the time they hit middle school and attempt to use really "expensive" vocabulary words, in as many annoying ways, they can possibly think of.

Especially, whenever you happen to be helping them study for a vocabulary test.

Exuberance.  Part of speech:  Noun.  Use exuberance in a sentence:  "Your lack of exuberance in doing the laundry is obvious."

Ha ha.

Efficiency.  Part of speech:  Noun.  Use efficiency in a sentence:  "Aren't those supposed to be efficiency washers and dryers?"

Dammit.

Or, maybe it's just me. I mean, once my kids hit double-digits, they each pretty much believed themselves to be smarter than most grown-ups (and they're probably right) most especially, me.

On the other hand, my misquoting song lyrics or names of their favorite performers probably doesn't help any, either.

"It's Evan-esc-ence, mom!"

[blank stare]

"That's what I said!"

[heavy sigh]

"Noooooooooo, you said Effervescent."

Same thing.

"No it isn't!"

Seriously, it's like I can't even fake my way through stuff anymore.

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, WHAT-EVVVVV-VVVVVER!!!!!"

Aaaaaand, I'm going to take this moment to acknowledge ALL of the parents reading this blog post, with a quick apology:  I am NOT helping our cause any and for this I am very, very sorry!!!

"That's okay, Mom!"

Aaaaaand, acknowledge my youngest, as being my favorite child, at the moment.

"I thought gold digger is someone who picks their nose."

[eyes goes wide]

"Beeeeeeecause, whenever you get caught picking your nose, some people WILL ask you if you are digging for gold."

[blank stare]

"Where did you hear the term gold digger, anyway?"

[one beat, two beats]

"Cee Lo Green."

Sometimes, these blog posts just write themselves.

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