Lately I have been thinking a lot about what role God has played in our adoption plan — especially with Little Man and Little Princess’ birthday just past. My thought has been “How would the God I know and love allow a woman to go through the pain of giving her children away JUST to give me children?”
So I decided that it was time to see what the bible had to say about adoption:
I also thought of Samuel – 1 Samuel 2:1-11 Hannah was barren and prayed fervently to God for a child “O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.” 1 Samuel 1:11. Once he was weaned, he lived with Eli, the priest and “ministered before the Lord.”
I read all these stories again — and thought some more. I mean God gave us freewill – the ability to do as we please and sometimes that freewill gets us into trouble (at least I know it does me). Once we get into trouble then what is the plan to get us out of trouble? Do we attempt to make our own plans?
I think about this as I try to put myself in the shoes of my children’s birth mother…and what if I was her – pregnant with unexpected twins, no clear plan for my life and living in a society where being a single mother is not looked kindly upon – what would I do? How would I handle that situation? What would I do when those babies came so early that I was told there was not much chance of them surviving and if they did the list of problems they could have? How would I feel? Would I be at the end of my proverbial rope? Where would I turn and what would I do?
As I look at my children playing while I type I want to think that MY God led her to the decision to give these babies up so that I could raise them – better than she could. How pretentious of me? My God would NOT be happy with my line of thought about that I am sure — I am changing my thoughts on this. While I still feel like I was supposed to raise these children — like they were put in my life for a reason, I do not believe they were born for me to raise them anymore. Though I do believe that once their birth mother exercised her freewill and made her plans – God knew the plan for my children was to place them with Aaron and I and put that plan into play.
I think about the story of Moses — God HAD to know what he was doing there, and I am sure it broke Moses’ mother’s heart to put her baby in a basket and watch him float down the river to a completely unknown fate. God used that decision to give Moses the ability to do things other Jews would not have been able to do at that time and it helped him to set his people free. Moses was able to know his family and live with them as an adult. I believe in that sense that God had a hand in matching up the twins paperwork with our paperwork and making sure that they came to the right place to be raised the way He desired them to be raised. While I do not believe that my children are destined to set their people free – I do believe they are destined to do great things as it says in the bible: For I know the plans I have planned for you… Isaiah (cannot remember the chapter and verse). And maybe one day my children will go back to Korea and do great things – I am ok with that and I am ok with them doing great things here in the US as well.
So my thoughts now turn to how do I raise them up to be all that they can be and to be who they should be? To love without question the woman who gave birth to them and the rest of their Korean family? Another post for another day —
But be sure to leave your thoughts on God and Adoption…even if they do not match mine.