Get a great relationship - start with some great dating advice!
Posted Jun 11 2010 10:28am
Dating can be scary. If you've just come off a divorce or a serious breakup, you may be wondering if it's all worth it, or if you'll just end up in the same place again. If your'e a single parent, you may be hesitant to start bringing someone new into your family's life. If you're newly on the scene after not having dated for many years, the thought of online dating can seem intimidating. For whatever reason, if you're not sure how to approach the whole dating game, try these tips:
*Put your most important foot forward. If you start out with "sexy" then that's what people will value most about you.
*Dating is not a sales pitch. Who you are is a sacred gift, it's not a product.
*Know that the single people around you are not your rivals. Smile, we're all in this together! There's enough love to go around, you don't have to fight other people for it.
*When you feel that spark of chemistry, ask yourself some questions. Is this excitement, or fear (they feel similar, but not the same)? Do you find yourself questioning your values and action and feeling insecure, or does this person really bring out the wonderful things in you, leaving you feeling invigorated and glowing?
*Gently press the brakes. It's okay to slow down, and it can keep you from making a desperate move that could end in disaster. If this person is really the right one for you, then they'll be patient and let things happen in due course. There are 1.45 million potential partners out there for you - you don't have do drastic things with this one right this second in a desperate bid to hang onto them. Just take a step back and think things through before making any big decisions.
*Learn about this person and what they have to offer. The last thing you need is to get into a situation where its give-give-give on your end and take-take-take on theirs. You want someone who balances you, where the give and take are equal.
*Don't try to find people who would be attracted to the person you think you should be - go for the ones who like you for who you actually are! I used to put so much effort into making myself less high-maintenance because I thought people wouldn't be attracted to my big nature. Turns out, my husband loves my big nature exactly the way it is!
*Resist the urge to drop your drawers until you're sure this person shares your relationship goals, and that they feel the same way about you! The day after you have sex is not the time to find out they just want a casual fling, if you're looking for marriage.
*Prepare yourself for your new relationship with a daily clearing ritual. Let go of old items or photos that only bring back painful memories, or you can do what I did and have a wedding ceremony with yourself so that you make the most important commitment of all!
*Stick to your guns when it comes to deal-breakers. Perhaps you won't tolerate a drug-user. Or maybe you can't stand to be with someone who's into porn. We all have areas where we draw the line - make a list of yours so that you aren't tempted to bend those lines. You can learn more about deal-breakers by getting a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers.
*Never compromise your safety or integrity - trust your true instincts, and don't set yourself up to fail!
But if you want the best piece of advice ever… it might take you a long time to get in etched in your mind, and to put it into practice, but here it is: Great relationships begin within!®
If you want some “inner-viewing” tips, go to http://www.maryannelive.com/ and sign up for Maryanne's new webinar series starting June 14. You can watch her doing one of the things she does best, asking the IMPORTANT questions of six live bachelors, one per week, real people, real time. You can choose to simply listen, to ask questions, or to be eligible for a date with the bachelor of your choice. Learn how and when to ask the essential questions, and build your Relationship Toolbelt so you can craft healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationships!