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Don't Worry, Be Dread-y and Perish the Thought While We're At It!

Posted Oct 05 2012 10:01am

When it comes to parenting (because, really, raising 3 teens and 1 tween, there really isn't much else going on up in here...dammit!) my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I have reached an understanding.

Aaaaaaaand, if any of my kids are reading this (because, really, nothing is sacred...DAMMIT!) this is where you guys need to click away...m'kay?

[blows bangs out of eyes]

Okay, are they gone?  Good.

It's simple, really.  Which is a good thing, because I'm not very good with un-simple (yes, it's a word) because...SQUIRREL!!!

[BAM!]

Aaaaaaaand, that should take care of any trolls, clicking around the internets looking for some action...NOPE, NOTHING CONTROVERSIAL GOING NO HERE.

[SLAM!]

We'll just wait a few more seconds.  Just.  To.  Be.  Sure.  Oooooo-kaaaaaay, ready?

[rolls up sleeves, clears throat]

It's sort of like a good cop/bad cop thing:   he tries (really, really hard, btw) not to go all BAT GUANO about the little things  (like, the rechargeable batteries are NOT in the rechargeable battery thingy...true story, just a couple of days ago...and OMG!) while I pretend NOT TO FLIP THE FRIG-OUT when stuff goes REAL BAD. 

Day before yesterday (I think) stuff got REAL BAD.

"You okay?"

Poor guy, here he was expecting me to FLIP THE FRIG-OUT, had the puke bucket ready and everything.

"I'm fine."

The REAL BAD stuff I'm speaking of isn't happening directly to me...[knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]...but to two people I love very much...who are being very, very brave about it, btw...and would most likely forgive me for FLIPPING THE FRIG-OUT...for them...because, well, it's how I roll.

Instead, something pretty good happened. We laughed.  Okay, fine, I laugh-snorted. 

Point being, as bad as this particular piece of news was (trust me, it was real guano-y) I listened to these two very brave people cracking jokes, making me laugh-snort and trying their darnedest to convince ME that it was okay?

Yeah, reality check...multiple pieces of emotional baggage...please.

It made me realize that the stuff that Garth (NHRN) and I have been going through, for the last few months, is no where even in the vicinity of being REAL BAD!

Besides, if you worrying about something bad happening (and I realize that everyone has stuff, with many different and very, very complicated levels of bad) chances are, it will happen. 

Karma has a sick sense of humor, like that...[whispering...the bastard]...so, why don't we all decide to dread something that we really, really want instead, like:

  • Gosh, but I hope Keeping Up With the Kardashians doesn't get canceled.
  • Can you imagine going a whole year without a car repair...OMG!?!?!
  • I don't think I can take another day of losing more weight.
  • Or keeping a job.
  • There goes the phone again, I really hope it's bad news.
  • OH MAN!  It would be absolutely AWFUL if somehow we managed to find a way to finally take the kids to Disney.
  • Geez, I really hope something REALLY BAD happens today.

For starters, anyways.  Okay, you're turn...oh, and...HOLY GUANO, PERISH THE THOUGHT!!!...you know, just in case.


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