Don't Borrow Trouble, for Trouble Will Find You Easy Enough
Posted Mar 22 2010 12:00am
I had more fun than should have been legal at Fitbloggin'. I'm still coughing up a storm, but I no longer feel like I'm drowning, so progress has been made, FTW! I don't want to apologize for being absent for so long - cuz I know how annoying that is to everyone. Let's just say, life is throwing me some huge curveballs that I'm totally unprepared for, and when I feint left to avoid them, they redirect to smack me square in the nose. Times are not so good here at Chez Masses - although not a marital crisis or a medical one or a family one. I'm hoping and praying that the problem to which I am alluding will dry up and go away and I don't have to blog about it - for blog about it I will, and I am not too sure - in fact, I know - that the people involved will not be happy when I do so - especially as there are multiple people employed at this particular institution involved who read this small site.
Consider that a warning, if you want. I'm past caring if those involved are annoyed. If you wonder if it's YOU - nope, it's not. It's a different person. ;)
While I was in Baltimore, my daughter did her Muay Thai endurance round against an instructor. He was tough on her. She fell twice.
She also broke her big toe.
Well, that's not strictly true, for we didn't know if she broke her toe. She hobbled around on a buddy taped, black and purple, swollen foot until I returned home Sunday and then, breaking down in tears Sunday night, asked me to take her to the doctor. I think it may have been something to do with the incredibly ugly shoes she was forced to wear (they were the only ones that fit over the swelling), but, you know, fashion is important when you are in high school.
So we went today, and there's nothing like taking a full size teen with boobs and uber large hoop earrings to the waiting room filled with babies at their very.first.checkup. I mean, fresh from the oven cuties. And I looked. And I watched. And I remembered.
Remembered when I couldn't put my jeans on and wore sweats - in one of many rotating shades - for months. Remembered when I worried about my diaper bag matching my purse - and what I'd need to pack in said diaper bag. And how many times I'd arrive somewhere with a diaper bag full of wet cloth diapers.
When I clipped paper thin fingernails and cut paper thin skin. I cried more than they did. When I worried that he wouldn't sleep, she would NEVER talk, and heaven forbid I mentioned going on the potty. When I carried extra pacifiers, sippy cups, rattles and socks with me. When I worried that the headband wouldn't stay on, the socks didn't fit inside the impossibly small size 0 Nikes, and what do you mean, Aunt Sally didn't wash her hands before she held the baby?
As I sat in that waiting room, with my gum popping teenager, the one wearing a spaghetti strap camisole (gotta love public school dress code after YEARS of Catholic school), and watched her conjugate Spanish 3 verbs onto vocab cards while she grooved to her iPod and texted her friends - I realized how much time I'd wasted when they were little.
Worried about teething and hair clips, Thomas the Tank fetishes and imaginary friends. Worried about organic baby food over homemade over jarred, was pasta sauce and homemade bread enough of a dinner or would he starve, and was she forever scarred when she saw something she shouldn't have.
I wanted to go to those impossibly young new mommies, with their teeny tiny bundles of preciousness, and whisper, Stop. Just stop. The mom across who bickered with her sister as to the necessity of a blanket on the baby in the exceptionally warm waiting room. The dad who wouldn't take the baby out of the car seat carrier "so as not to spoil her". The mom who put the hat ON the baby and the grandma who took it OFF, over and over.
I wanted to stand up and tell them, "Enjoy it, for I didn't. And now it's gone. And I wouldn't trade what I have now - full sized (or mostly) human beings, capable of conversation and laughs, both rational and irrational thought, keeping a room a trash heap and drinking a gallon of milk a day- for all the money in the world - but what you have is so precious and so fleeting. And no, you won't sleep - but you won't die of it, even though you may feel like it. None of the little stuff matters. Just hold your infants and enjoy them, squeeze them and remember this."
But I'm pretty sure that if I had said it, they wouldn't have heard.