One of my least favorite chores is shredding documents. At first I thought it was a stupid chore, but after a few friends warned they had fake credit cards taken out in their name, I forced myself into the habit.

But our crappy shredder was jammed when I pulled it out to grind a pile of old bills. Usually I clear out the 20 jams before putting it away for the day, so I was a bit surprised. But when I looked deep into the shredder’s dark crevices, there was no paper smooshed up like an accordion. Instead, I only could see two dark objects that looked like paper clips.

Of course, the picture gives it away. I had to take apart the entire machine to get those two pennies out.

Now it could have been Seth who dropped in those pennies, but I don’t think so. And I’m positive it wasn’t my wife. She knows how protective I am of my beloved shredder.

So how can I blame my 14-month-old daughter, Lael? Consider what I found in my desk drawer:

• An old tin of jasmine tea
• A dried up apple slice
• A birthday invitation
• The missing Leap Frog Fridge Phonics
• Seth’s birthday cake monster truck
• My wife’s diaper duck (Were you looking all over for it, hon?)
• A mouse pad
• A ruler
• A pen (that wasn’t in the drawer before)
• A Lego block
• Flashlight
• Trader Joe’s Chocolate Chip Chewy Coated Granola Bar wrapper
• A Trader Joe’s sticker
• Can opener
• Piece of cardboard
• Magna Karma refrigerator magnet (Spin it to see your horrorscope for the day.)
• Pencil sharpener (I think I actually put that in.)
• And a pretzel.

We’ll have to stop Lael before this becomes an addiction. I mean it starts out small – a few odd objects in a desk drawer seems innocent enough – but down the road, she might start filling washing machines with computers and then dumpsters with perfectly good clothes. What if she graduates to dropping cars or trucks in Lake Michigan?

No, this must be nipped in the bud once she gets back into town.

In the meantime, has anyone seen my wallet?