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Crazy Bachelor Ladies Speak Out

Posted Feb 24 2009 9:42pm
Number of times Jason used the word "amazing" - 412

I need proof that Stephanie is not a man. I'm sorry but last night's appearance didn't help. Can't someone sneak over to her while she's mewwwing at Jason and swab her mouth for DNA? I'd do it but I'm kind of under the gun on a few other projects.

Natalie, Natalie, Natalie -thank you for being so delusional that you honestly felt everyone else was delusional. So did she or didn't she get mad that she got splashed in the pool? I couldn't sleep last night just looking at it from every angle. I mean, first she said she didn't get mad but then she said she did get mad but then she was sarcastic and just trying to get out of the conversation. I'm so confused. I think the producers should go back and administer a lie detector test on Natalie so we can put this scandal to rest.

Math problem: How many tubes of bronzer does it take to make all of the bachelor's amazing ladies look like they've been living in Hawaii (if Hawaii was actually a biodome with only artificial tanning light) for six months?

Why do Naomi and Jillian who "fell in love" with Jason seem completely over it now? Sure Jills shed a tear or two and admitted it was "emotional" going back to that time (um, what a month ago?) but I bet Jillian would tear up reading a grammer book. That chick cries a lot. I highly recommend Zoloft for that. Not that I really need it. I'm super stable. Just ask my shrink.

FYI - I had to fast forward through all the Trista Ryan bullshit. Yes, we get it, you're still in love. You're having another baby. I honestly would rather take a bath with my grandfather than listen to Trista drone on for an entire segment.

God, I can't wait for Idol tomorrow.
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