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Corn Pudding 101

Posted Nov 21 2013 12:00am

I make this every year for the major holiday dinners - my brother in law is probably the biggest fan of this recipe, but everyone loves it. Typically, I make two pans. Every year, I am asked for the recipe, and so I thought I'd share it here.

Cast of Characters:

Nov 21, 2013

In a large bowl, melt a stick of butter - note that the original recipe calls for two, but think to yourself that this is a lot of butter and your butt is not getting any smaller, so try it with one stick. While the butter is melting, you've got nothing better to do, so pour a drink. Check to make sure the butter is melted. It's not. Set the microwave again. Check again. Stir the melted butter around and curse when it pops and splashes on your hand. Eat a cookie to console yourself - remember, all calories consumed while cooking don't count.

Search for the can opener. Yell at your kid who put away the clean dishes when you find the can opener hidden behind the gravy bowl - who uses the gravy bowl and why would you think of looking for the can opener there? Encourage your child to put things away where they go, and tell her that, if she can't remember where it goes - put it with the martini shaker. You'll be sure to find it then.

Open the cans of corn. Drain the corn. No, not the creamed corn, dummy - that would be disastrous. Drain the regular corn and dump it into the bowl that has the vicious melted butter. Add the creamed corn. Stir it all up. Dump in a cup of sour cream (low fat is fine, remember that your behind is roughly the size of Texas and every calorie you save can be used up in your beverage selection!) and stir it again. Finally, add the world's cheapest corn bread mix and stir a final time. You won't get all of the lumps out, so save your bat wings from flapping hard enough to draw a breeze and just do your best.

Pour the mixture into a casserole dish. Curse and scrape the mixture out of the pan and back into the bowl, because you forgot to grease the casserole dish. Wipe the dish down, spray it with non stick spray, and pour the mixture back into the dish.

Curse again - you forgot to preheat the oven. Turn it on to 400 and pour yourself a drink. By the time you've finished your beverage of choice, the oven timer has beeped and you can put the dish into the oven.

Go ahead and work on the rest of the dinner. Curse when you realize you have no idea how long the corn pudding has been cooking - but it sure does smell good. Guesstimate that it's been about 30 minutes, and stick a knife in the middle of the mixture. Thank everything that's holy that the mixture is still gooey, and promise to keep a better eye on it. Set the timer for 15 more minutes. Check the casserole again - if it's still gooey, you really miscalculated what time dinner is served. Tell everyone in the family to pour a drink and by the time you all finish, it should be done. Try to do the math in your head and realize that it took about an hour for the recipe to finish cooking, and vow to remember it next time.

Heat the rest of the dinner back up and serve.

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