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Cleansing my palate. And also my liver.

Posted Mar 12 2013 12:25pm

Fruits and vegetables

I’ve been reading tons and tons of stuff about adrenal fatigue , and one thing that keeps coming up, in everything I’ve read from the very first time I ever heard of this condition until today, is diet. Certain foods wreak havoc on the adrenals, and as much as I hate to admit it, I’m not going to feel 100% better until I address my consumption of sugar and processed foods.

While I’ve been making some modifications here and there in the last few months, I still found myself gorging on sugar-filled snacks at the end of the work day. And I hadn’t done jack about my coffee and/or diet coke habits. Last Friday I went to the nutritionist for a follow up, and the tests showed that my endocrine system is getting better (it’s no longer off-the-charts bad, it’s only in the sorta bad category), my liver has moved from the working swimmingly category into the sorta bad category.

These are all technical terms.

In any case, she said I am overworking my liver by ingesting crap foods, and I need to knock that shit off and concentrate on golf and eat some healthy stuff. LUCKILY, she had just the system for me – the Standard Process Purification Program , and it could be mine for the low, low price of… I’m not even going to tell you how much.

So, for the next 19.5 days (1.5 days down, woohoo) I’m going to subsist on vegetables, fruits, lean proteins (after the first 10 days, anyway), water and green tea. (Did you see diet coke and twizzlers on that list? Me either. It’s so sad.) I also have to take 21 pills a day for the first 10 days – pills that consist of dehydrated beets (which I like to pretend were grown by Dwight Schrute) and stuff. No chemicals, just food. But! I can eat Chipotle, and as long as I have Chipotle, everything is right in my world.

She swears my cravings will go away after day 4 and that I’ll feel great once my body is rid of the bad stuff. I shall believe it when I see it.

How about you, friends? Any sugar-giver-uppers out there who want to tell me how fantastic they look and feel? I’ll be anxiously awaiting your reply while I sit here and sip on liquefied turnips.

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