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Call me Sarge

Posted Nov 05 2012 8:12am

This? Is accomplished through the sacrifice of my sanity!

You know what STRESSES ME OUT? Getting my big kids ready for school. We have a routine. It still makes me crazy. Bobby gets the kids up and gets them breakfast while I nurse Jonah who is incapable of sleeping in until I get the big kids ready, natch. Then, I come down and fuss at the big kids while they eat as s-l-o-w-l-y as possible and mess around (while Bobby is making school lunches). After I threaten them about 75 times, they finish eating and go to the restroom and begin getting dressed.

Which is about the time Jonah decided he needs to nurse again.

So while I shout drill sergeant commands at Sophie, who cannot seem to put her clothes on without being yelled at, I nurse the baby again. (YES, my life would be SO MUCH EASIER if I weaned him. But I haven’t had 10 days that I could let him scream at me non-stop. Which is what it took with Sophie. Lord help us all.)

I pry him off by the time it’s time to do her hair, and then he fusses at me and tries to push his sister off of me while I brush her hair and make her look like a living doll. Which is slightly difficult when a toddler is trying to push her away while I’m strategically placing hair bows and flower clips. But we suffer through it.

Then I send her off to  brush her teeth (Joshua’s already ready at this point, he generally has no problems once breakfast is over) and all of a sudden Jonah is happy again and goes and plays. Of course.

After all teeth are brushed, I coach the big kids through the CLEARLY arduous process of – gasp!- putting their coats and backpacks on!  And grabbing their lunch boxes!  It only takes about 27 minutes of nagging for this to occur.

Finally, Bobby appears, uniform on, and whisks them out the door to school.

And I resist the urge to go buy some xanax off the street and have a cup of coffee instead.

Tomorrow I think I’ll just stay in bed with Jonah and let them fend for themselves! I can’t stand being a drill sergeant all morning!

What’s your morning routine like? Tell me about it in the comments. Unless it’s all sunshine and roses and then I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT!

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