Due to the pre-move stress I expected to be leaping across the bedroom, in the middle of the night, to escape the spiders.
This did not happen. Not to me anyway.
The night before we moved there was a disturbance.
I woke in the night and instantly knew something wasn’t right. I stretched out to discover The Husband missing.
Suddenly the bedroom light was flicked on and there in the corner of the room was The Husband in his pants looking befuddled.
He was befuddled, and I was blind … at 3.04am.
The following morning he told me that he dreamt he was being chased round our bedroom by Colobus Monkeys. He was very precise about the species.
Can you imagine what would happen if the Driver family’s nocturnal behaviour was synchronised … there would be the 4 year old snoring like an old man, the 6 year old screaming like she’s having her leg removed with a rusty butter knife, The Husband being chased by Colobus Monkeys and me scrabbling around on the bed shooing the 100 or so spiders away.