Ok, so there is a heated debate running on a mom's online panel I belong to. The debate is about providing middle school children with birth control. I know, I know...right now your thinking WHAAA???? Birth control for middle school children??? Are they crazy???
That's exactly what my first reaction was...no way!! But, then I read
this article which tells of a town called Portland, Maine, whose pregnancy stats for middle school girls is
17 pregnancies in the last 4 years . Middle school, depending on your community, is roughly girls in the 6th thru 9th grades.
So that got me to thinking...I understand that as parents, it is our job to educate our children about sex, STD's, pregnancy, etc. I understand that it is our job to leave the doors of communication open, to encourage our children to come to us with problems (whatever they may be), and to instill a sense of self-respect into them. We do this with the hopes that our kids will be strong and fight the urge to give in to the temptations that are around them...whether those temptations be doing drugs, drinking, smoking, cutting class, or having sex.
That being said, I also understand that children don't tell their parents everything about their lives. I know I didn't, and I had a wonderful relationship with my parents while growing up. I understand that they will sometimes make poor choices, that they may do all of the things that we are urging them to stay away from. That they may, in fact, give in to the many temptations that surround them.
I personally, will talk to my girls about sex, about boys, about drugs, about smoking, etc. I will try my hardest to make sure they understand that their parents will always be there for them, that they can always come to us with questions or problems...even if they think it will upset us. I would much rather know what's going on in my children's' lives than be oblivious. BUT...I will also feel better knowing that if for some reason they feel they cannot come to me, that there is a "safety net" in place within the community, to "catch" them if they fall. Though I'm not necessarily comfortable with birth control being available to my children at such a young and tender age, I'm not oblivious to the fact that there are kids having sex so young. If my child becomes one of them (and I hope that is not the case), and she does not come to me, I would rather that she have the option to obtain birth control from a reputable and clean health facility, than have her get pregnant.
Many of the mothers that are in the panel disagree whole heartedly. And while I see where they are coming from, I cannot help but think that they are in denial. They keep saying that children shouldn't be having sex so young and that they shouldn't be given the opportunity to obtain birth control. But the fact is, some children ARE having sex that young...this is a reality, this is really happening. So we have to assume that either parents ARE NOT talking to their children about sex, OR they ARE, but the children ARE NOT listening.
So, I posed a question to them. I said, it's easy to pass judgement when we are on the outside looking in. So let's put ourselves in their place. Let's imagine that we are members of this community, that our children are in middle school, that these statistics are ours. As members of the school board, as parents, and as responsible adults...what should we do??? How do we help these children?? As of this morning, when I logged onto the panel site, there are no responses. My guess is, either no one knows how to answer that question or they still cannot face the reality of the situation.
So I pose the question to you, my lovely readers...What should we do?
That's exactly what my first reaction was...no way!! But, then I read this article which tells of a town called Portland, Maine, whose pregnancy stats for middle school girls is 17 pregnancies in the last 4 years . Middle school, depending on your community, is roughly girls in the 6th thru 9th grades.
So that got me to thinking...I understand that as parents, it is our job to educate our children about sex, STD's, pregnancy, etc. I understand that it is our job to leave the doors of communication open, to encourage our children to come to us with problems (whatever they may be), and to instill a sense of self-respect into them. We do this with the hopes that our kids will be strong and fight the urge to give in to the temptations that are around them...whether those temptations be doing drugs, drinking, smoking, cutting class, or having sex.
That being said, I also understand that children don't tell their parents everything about their lives. I know I didn't, and I had a wonderful relationship with my parents while growing up. I understand that they will sometimes make poor choices, that they may do all of the things that we are urging them to stay away from. That they may, in fact, give in to the many temptations that surround them.
I personally, will talk to my girls about sex, about boys, about drugs, about smoking, etc. I will try my hardest to make sure they understand that their parents will always be there for them, that they can always come to us with questions or problems...even if they think it will upset us. I would much rather know what's going on in my children's' lives than be oblivious. BUT...I will also feel better knowing that if for some reason they feel they cannot come to me, that there is a "safety net" in place within the community, to "catch" them if they fall. Though I'm not necessarily comfortable with birth control being available to my children at such a young and tender age, I'm not oblivious to the fact that there are kids having sex so young. If my child becomes one of them (and I hope that is not the case), and she does not come to me, I would rather that she have the option to obtain birth control from a reputable and clean health facility, than have her get pregnant.
Many of the mothers that are in the panel disagree whole heartedly. And while I see where they are coming from, I cannot help but think that they are in denial. They keep saying that children shouldn't be having sex so young and that they shouldn't be given the opportunity to obtain birth control. But the fact is, some children ARE having sex that young...this is a reality, this is really happening. So we have to assume that either parents ARE NOT talking to their children about sex, OR they ARE, but the children ARE NOT listening.
So, I posed a question to them. I said, it's easy to pass judgement when we are on the outside looking in. So let's put ourselves in their place. Let's imagine that we are members of this community, that our children are in middle school, that these statistics are ours. As members of the school board, as parents, and as responsible adults...what should we do??? How do we help these children?? As of this morning, when I logged onto the panel site, there are no responses. My guess is, either no one knows how to answer that question or they still cannot face the reality of the situation.
So I pose the question to you, my lovely readers...What should we do?