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Beer Day and Get Over It Day...who knew March had such awesome holidays?!

Posted Mar 05 2009 6:20am
I've come to realize that the month of March holds some very important holidays. I'm not sure that many people are aware of these holidays so I feel it is my responsibility to enlighten others. Here are some of my personal favorites:

Beer Day (March 1): Aw, man...I totally missed this one. Well, I suppose I can make up for it by drinking 5 beers (you know, to catch up). Problem is, I don't like beer. I think drinking a whole bottle of Bailey's by myself would be a good way to celebrate...who cares if I'm locked in the laundry room while my kids bang on the door, screaming, "Mommy, how much longer is it gonna take you to put the clothes in the washer?". In my mind, I'll scream back, "as long as it takes me to finish this bottle of Bailey's, dammit...now let me celebrate the holiday in peace".

I Want You To Be Happy Day (March 3): Shucks, missed this one too. But honestly in my life every day is "I Want You To Be Happy Day", thanks to my children. And to prove how much I want them to be happy, I will come running out of the shower dripping wet, go downstairs to pour them a glass of juice...only to find my husband standing in the kitchen staring into space. I'll ask, "Why couldn't you just ask Daddy since he's right here in the kitchen?"....they'll say, "But Mommy, I like the way that YOU pour juice". Oh, okay....well, I just want you to be happy.

National Be Heard Day (March 7): Oh, Tim....did you HEAR that? We have been commanded to listen to one another on this day. Today I won't have to say to you, "what do I have to do....light myself on fire to get you to hear me?" and you aren't allowed to look at me, completely dumbfounded, and say, "huh? what? were you talking to me?". And I suppose I'll have to pay attention to what you say when you when you go all Rush Limbaugh on me.

Check Your Batteries Day (March 8): Oh, I'll be checking all the batteries alright. Checking to make sure all the toys DO NOT have batteries in them.

Get Over It Day (March 9): I'm so there. I finally have permission to say to my kids "get over it" every time they whine to me, which is approximately 45 times within a 60-minute period (but who's counting?)

Nap Day (March 9): Finally, an answer to prayer. I think this should be a monthly holiday, like on the 9th of every month, it should be Nap Day. Not for the kids....only for the Moms.

Forgive Mom and Dad Day (March 18 ): I suppose this is the day where I beg my kids for forgiveness for Get Over It Day. I'll probably make it up to them by letting them eat chicken nuggets for breakfast, lunch and dinner, as well as allowing them to give each other wedgies and jump on their beds.

Absolutely Incredible Kid Day (March 19 ): Now this is a totally rockin' holiday!! I will make badges for each of my kids that read "I'm an Absolutely Incredible Kid...Just ask my Mom". And I will spend the whole day telling my kids about all the things I think that make them incredible, like giving the best hugs and kisses, knowing how to make me laugh when I want to cry and checking the mailbox everyday and saying "Oh, they're just bills....just throw them away" (because I think the electric company would totally buy that excuse..."but my kids said I could throw the bill away").

As Young As You Feel Day (March 22 ): On this day, I will ignore the fact that my 40th birthday is just a mere 11 days away. I will also allow myself to not be embarrassed for secretly enjoying watching Hannah Montana re-runs with my daughter.

Education and Sharing Day (March 27 ): On this day, I'll educate my children on important things, such as cleaning up after themselves and brushing their teeth 2 times a day. I'll also inform them that spitting on others is illegal in at least 48 states and that wasting perfectly good food makes God sad. I will also allow them to SHARE household chores with me, like folding laundry and sweeping the kitchen floor.
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