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Be Glad I’m Not Your Mom: Sick Toddler Edition

Posted Oct 09 2013 8:14am
sick jonah

Yes, this IS as fun as it looks!

So, Jonah is sick with a bad cold. It is just that, a bad cold. Low fever, bad cough, lots of snot, nothing a doctor can do anything about. And what else does he have that a doctor can’t fix?

A mother who is super, super OVER IT. This is day 5, people. DAY FIVE. At the outset I can be super-cuddly-let-me-soothe-you-my-poor-baby Mom, but by now I’m like suck-it-up-and-quit-your-whining-a-cold-is-no-excuse-for-tyranny Mom. OH MY GOSH!!!!

Jonah is my kid who gets, pardon my French, SUPER-PISSED when he’s sick. My usually cheerful boy wakes up mad at the world and screams about anything and everything for the first hour or two of his day. Especially if one of the other two kids opens their mouths or approaches him. So this morning I’m like, at the end of my rope on DAY FIVE, yelling at the other kids to QUIT TALKING, because it makes Jonah mad. Yes, that’s right. The Snot King demands ABSOLUTE SILENCE. And he would also prefer that you don’t look at him. Avert. Your. Eyes.

Part of the reason my fuse is so short is because when something hangs on this long, worry sets in. Every coughing fit causes me great anxiety. Last night his temperature went up half a degree and I was mentally on my way to the emergency room. I try to push the panic aside as I forge ahead slathering Vicks (silver lining: I LOVE THE SMELL OF VICKS !) all over his chest, which makes him scream, which makes me irritable and shortens that ever-shrinking bit of nerve I’ve got left. Every time I take his temp or – God-forbid – give him medicine, I have to wrestle him into submission. It. Is. Exhausting.

His cough has woken him up, kept him up, and shortened his much-needed naps, which does nothing for either of our moods. And all of it, the lack of rest, the worry, the irritation, has made me pretty much non-functional in other areas.  My house is a wreck, I can barely write a coherent thought, and it takes a huge amount of effort to do the dishes or make a peanut butter sandwich or OH MY WORD, help the big kids with HOMEWORK. As a matter of fact, my head about explodes when the older two walk in from school. Meeting the demands of Angry Toddler while trying to meet the needs of the other kids almost undid me last night. My ability to multi-task is NIL at this point.

In addition, Jonah has missed his toddler speech class (you know, the one he hates but HAS to get used to before preschool ?) for two weeks in a row because he also had a weird one-day fever last Tuesday, which is his class day. So that causes me stress as well. If he is not better for his regular speech therapy session tomorrow, you will find me standing on the edge of a bridge.

I know this is just a cold. I know it is not a big deal. I know it could be much worse.  I ALSO KNOW I CAN’T WAIT FOR IT TO BE GONE. I know I have lost most of a week. I know I miss my cheerful boy. I know it is going to be very difficult for me to wean him back off of TV. I know I am really, really, glad I bought a 2 Liter of Mountain Dew on my escapade to find homeopathic cough medicine last night. I know this too shall pass.

I also know you should be very glad I’m not YOUR mom .

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