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Bad Mommy, Bad Blogger, Bad Bad Bad

Posted May 20 2009 12:00pm

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(Note the legs — this was their first time sitting in grass….)

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(as close to two smiles as I have got in a very long time)

Yep that about sums up the last week or two — I am not sure what my problem is. I thought all of the pity parties would be done when the adoption was complete but now I read others blogs or meet with other moms (and their kids) and somehow turn those things into me being a bad mommy in my head. And today we added yet another therapist to Little Princess’ lineup and apparently she did not want to have yet another therapist added as she screamed for almost the full hour the new woman was here – I felt HORRIBLE. No matter what I did no matter what I said she would not calm down PERIOD. Little Man was great though, guess he figured the woman was not here to see him so what does it matter. For most of the month of May we have had sleep problems, tantrum problems, eating problems, mostly with Little Princess BUT Little Man has got involved as well. It was less than a week ago I called Aaron at work crying so hard and the twins were crying so hard he could not understand nor hear me and all I wanted was for him to come home though I knew that was not possible. I have over 300 blog posts piled up in Google reader – some I have read and some I have not just waiting to comment on; I have not written a post for this blog or for Grown In My Heart for so long I cannot recall (Grown In My Heart is using some of my older posts  that have been edited and reposted); I have two AMAZING reviews to do – I may do one tomorrow for a product that I now love. My attitude is BAD and getting worse I do not know what happened.

I am amazed I have readers and friends left — it is ME ME ME ME all the time even when I try to stop. Alison deserves a medal — she just keeps coming back for more and even attends movies just her and I. Thursday night I am supposed to have a dinner for the moms of my local Mothers of Multiples group – free steak and to be real honest I am wondering if it is worth it. More than once I have thought that leaving the house is not worth it.

I am trying to redo the Etsy store – as in I have put on sale all o the hair bows I had made, took a few items inactive, and am trying to add a few new items. Lets just say I have some goals but working to meet them is proving harder than I thought. Hopefully by Tuesday night I will have new hair bows and hair flowers listed and then by the following Friday I will have all of the custom clothing listed — I promise to keep you all in the loop but don’t count on anything as I am just not that into it even though I love doing it.

Really I think Little Man and Little Princess are doing me in — even though I almost NEVER sleep much anyway I swear they know when I am finally exhausted every night and pick that moment to wake up. By the time I have them both back down and calmed down I am wide awake again and then I am wiped the next day trying to deal with them. I remember in the beginning I would not cry at all – now that feels like all I do. I am a horrible friend, blogger, mommy etc…Not to mention there are other things going on that I cannot talk about on here, maybe someday but not right now.

Ok so I will try to make this the last whiny post for a very long time but I am not promising anything at all…because until I feel like I am succeeding at the stay at home mom gig as well as everything else in my life…thanks for reading and being here…more later.

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