Attention Mr Truck Driver with the Winnie the Pooh tied to the back of his truck...
Posted Jan 14 2009 8:56pm
I just want to inform you of how much you traumatized my children when we happened to be driving behind your truck the other day. My 4-yr old son noticed you had Winnie the Pooh tied to the back of your truck. Don't deny it...I have proof.
I even have your license plate noted so please just stop saying "hey lady, you're whacked...I would never do something so cruel and heinous". We both know the facts. And now you can stop cursing the day that cell phones with cameras were ever invented and pay attention to what I have to say.
Let's get back to the issue at hand, shall we? My children and I were happily cruising along after a fun time at the grocery store. A fun day at the grocery store, you might ask? Yes, for me to have a FUN experience at any store with my children is a miracle. So can you imagine the smile that must have been on my face as we left the grocery store after 20 minutes of shopping without any of them fighting, pushing, shoving, pinching, biting and slapping one another?! This was a once in a lifetime experience for me I am sure. I think I might have even been happily humming along with my children as they sang "You Are My Sunshine" to one another. But you had to go ruin it with your damn sick sense of humor.
What person in their right mind ties an innocent, adorable bear to the back of his truck?! Obviously, you don't have children. Did your mother deny you the privilege of watching Winnie the Pooh on tv when you were a child? Did your father refuse to read you any Winnie the Pooh books? Did you cry yourself to sleep at night because you were the only child in your preschool class who didn't have Winnie the Pooh bed sheets? Those are the only things I can think of that must have disturbed you enough to do something so cruel to an innocent, loving bear.
My children have forever been scarred by this event. And, thanks to you, I finally had to sit down with them and have the "there are scary, mean people in the world" speech. I was hoping to avoid that speech for another year or two but clearly it wasn't meant to happen that way.
I would finally like to leave you with a picture I took of my 4-yr old son after he saw poor Winnie tied to the back of your truck. As you can see, he is heartbroken. He is convinced, as all my children are, that Winnie the Pooh has been kidnapped against his will and they fear they may never see him again.
So, please, do me a favor. Do all the other poor children who might have seen Winnie the Pooh tied to your truck a favor. And do all us mothers who have to console our children after seeing something like this a favor.
UNTIE WINNIE THE POOH FROM THE BACK OF YOUR TRUCK NOW! We demand that you let him free. He has loved ones back in the forest who miss him. Christopher Robin is heartbroken and has developed a nasty drinking habit, poor Eeyore has resorted to downing anti-depressants because he is so down in the dumps, happy Tigger has lost his bounce and now has to attend therapy to find his way back to his joyful self, Kanga and Roo....well, let's just say that Kanga has taken her precious Roo far far away to somewhere safe where this could never happen to her baby. Ever heard of the witness protection program? She reported you to the Bear Police and now fears for her life and the life of her baby. You can see how far a mother will go to protect her child!!!!
And I also suggest YOU get some therapy. You obviously have unresolved issues from your childhood. You don't need to traumatize other innocent children because of your anger.
Thank you for reading this and I hope you can understand where I'm coming from.
Doubly Blessed Twice, who will hunt you down and make your life miserable if you do not release Winnie the Pooh at once (don't forget I have your license plate number)