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Arguing for the sake of arguing!

Posted Jan 14 2009 8:55pm
Cole and Bella fight like cats and dogs! Is it a twin thing, a sibling thing or just the plain fact that they are of different genders?

This morning the fighting began almost immediately upon them waking up. And the fights were over the littlest mundane things, like Cole being mad that Bella also wanted french toast for breakfast and Bella teasing Cole that he needs a haircut. Sometimes I think they fight for the pure enjoyment of fighting or, simply enough, to send me over the edge, as I was very close to being with them this morning.

Yesterday they had an argument while watching Sesame Street. There was a scene with Big Bird and the number 0 where the two were engaged in a conversation and Cole kept saying "letters can't talk". Bella insisted that letters obviously can talk because there it was plain as day that what they thought was the letter O was talking right there on the tv. Within 2 minutes, they were embroiled in a huge argument over this. It started all over again this morning when they happened to catch a little bit of Dora the Explorer on tv and Cole said "trees can't talk" and Bella again said "yeah they can...see", as she pointed to the talking tree.

On the drive over to their preschool, they were arguing again in the car. I had told each of them they could pick one class to sign up for that was being offered by the city's parks and recreation department. Cole chose soccer and Bella chose ballet class...surprise, surprise! Here's the argument that took place in the car:

Cole: I'm going to play soccer and you can't come and watch me

Bella: I don't care, I don't want to watch you play soccer. You can come watch me do ballet.

Cole: Okay, I'll watch you do ballet but you still can't watch me play soccer.

Bella: I want you to come watch me do ballet.

Cole: I said I would.

Bella: (starting to cry) I want you to watch me do ballet.

Cole: OKAY!

Bella: Mommy, Cole said he was gonna come watch me do ballet.

Me: You told him you wanted him to watch you and he said he would...and your problem is.....?

Bella: I want him to watch me

Cole: I said I would

Bella: See, Mommy, he's trying to get me mad and now I'm getting frustrated with him

Me: Bella, I don't said you wanted him to watch you and he agreed that he would so what's the problem?

Bella: I want him to come watch me and he said he would

Me: OMG, do you all just argue for the sake of arguing?

Cole and Bella (in twin unison): Yes

Okay, there it was broken down for me in simple terms...yes they argue for the sake of arguing. And the rest of the drive over to preschool, they continued to argue over everything under the sun. At one point, Bella stopped and said to Cole "stop arguing with me for the sake of arguing".

I asked them "do you both think you could get along for just 5 minutes?" and in unison they both said "NO". And then Bella told Cole that she no longer considered him her twin...he cried....she laughed....he cried harder....she laughed harder.

Do these kids ever stop? Will it always be like this? I thought the whole thing about twins is that they are supposed to best friends and have a bond that is indescribable. I suppose I shouldn've known it might be like this when each time we went in for an ultrasound when I was pregnant, they were even fighting in the womb.

As I dropped them off at preschool, they each greeted their friends who were already in the class. Bella immediately wanted to play dress up with her friends and Cole said "no one wants to play with you" and she said "Oh yeah they do...go play with your trains because no one likes you". I looked at the teacher and said "they're all YOURS...good luck".
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