"Jump, Bear, Jump!"
My boy loves his bed...and his little Bear
"Bear! Don't go! Go seep seep (sleep, sleep)!"
So tonight is night two of Franky sleeping in his big boy bed...and he's doing marvelously. He ran around and played with Bear a bit, ran around in the living room and ran around in my room before finally crawling into his own bed and knocking out...watching him on our video monitor both makes me proud and breaks my fucken heart. When the hell did my baby boy turn into a big boy? When did he outgrow his crib and get into a big boy bed? Wasn't it just yesterday that I was gently setting him in his infant tub? And pureeing fresh baby food? And nursing him? Wasn't it just yesterday that he was my baby? When did he turn into a big boy? When did he start sleeping in his own bed? When the hell did I buy a freakin' potty seat for him? I knew it would happen. I knew my baby would turn into a big boy and I was prepared for it to happen but it breaks my fucking heart every time I look at his sister and realize how much he has grown and how big he has gotten.
In other news, I really wish I didn't know when people talked about me. I'd rather not know when bad things are said. Some things I think are better left untold. There are some things I'd rather be left in the dark about. What good does it do me to know that someone doesn't like me? Or when someone says something bad about me? Especially when these someone's are people that I see more than just a few times a year. I think that maybe whenever "peer mediators" are involved, oftentimes they stir the pot more than calm it. And I think a lot is lost along the path from one person's mouth to another's ears. Which is why I'm done listening to things. Unless I hear it directly from the horse's mouth, I don't wanna hear it at all. I think gossip is human nature. Everyone likes a little bit of dirt every now and then. But do I need to hear every time my name is dragged through the mud?
As far as my blog. I could easily pack up shop and start fresh, taking with me those who have shown support and friendship along the way. But that's not my style. And this is my place. Things are what they are. I think that a lot of times certain people come here to be nosy and pretend to make things about themselves that really don't have a single thing to do with them. Maybe they need a sense of importance? Maybe I should be flattered for the attention that I didn't ask for in the first place? Maybe it's forgotten that I'm not linked to just one group of people alone. I have links in many other places and oftentimes I generalize here. Not because I'm shadily trying to trash someone here, but because my life consists of many people, family and friends alike and there's no topic I haven't covered here. I'm not a fake person. Sure, there are some people I like more than others but I'll never be anything less than a lady in my interactions with them. Those who really know me know I don't do fake. And if I don't like someone they'll know it. But when I love, it's with my whole heart and I can only hope it shines through. I think sometimes my annoyance at certain things comes off as hatred or dislike and that's not the case at all. But truthfully, I don't really care what other people's perceptions of me or my actions are. I know who I am and what I feel and that's really all I care about. I love...and those who I love know it and feel it so anyone else who feels differently really doesn't matter.
My dad gave me a great piece of advice once. He told me to keep my relationships individual. Just cuz I don't get along with one person doesn't mean I can't get along with another, regardless of their relationship to each other or to me. I can't lump people together just because of their relation or relationship. I gotta keep it individual. That's a beautiful lesson I've learned. And in keeping it individual I've kept it real and maintained beautiful friendships and relationships.
Aside from the lessons I've learned just by living, my parents have taught me my greatest lessons. I only hope I can one day pass down my greatest lessons learned to my own kids. At the end of the day, isn't that what it's all about, is being a good parent? I'm slowly learning not to care what people think about my parenting or what is said about my style of parenting. All I can do is be the bestest, greatest mom I know how to be...and really, that's all that matters to me...