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Anxiety..

Posted Oct 04 2009 11:14pm
In the past few weeks, I have felt like I am in a well, just clawing to get out. I have no idea what is wrong or what is going on in my mind, it just feels like it is running in over drive. The kids are good and healthy, they are behaving which is not just nice.. its wonderful. Chuck is good in school working his hind parts off as always. Again nothing really bad.

So what is wrong with me? I am lonely. What? did she just say she's lonely? Yes. She did. She knows she has six kids? Yes she does. And a husband? Yes again she does. And a mother who calls her 8 billion times again. Ok ok she gets it. .but thats not it.

I feel all alone, and no I do not just mean during the day when it is just me and Emily in the house, we are not talking about physically lonely. More so, I feel like I am not here... and I know I am not making a lot of sense. But I have to get this out. I can be somewhere, even in bed. Have someone within touching distance, but its like i am invisible lately. I can say something and it is missed. What do you do? Aside from dance jump run hop what do you when you feel like you are not really there?

Ugh..

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