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An undecisive 2-year-old

Posted Sep 29 2008 9:11pm

An undecisive 2-year-old

Child, Development Stages, Toddler

My friend was complaining to me that her 2-year-old son was driving her nuts! She said,” there was this time, I asked him if he wanted the fishball, he said ‘no’. So she took it away and gave him a hotdog, then he shouted ‘fishball’. When she passed him the fishball, he called for hotdog. So frustrating. Then when I pass him the hotdog again, he wanted the fishball!”

It seems that the child can’t make up his mind. But that’s not true, he is actually learning and practising independence and making choices for himself.

My boys went through that stage too. Binbin was more ‘problematic’ than his elder brother. Binbin can slap the thing (whatever that is offered to him) off your hand and you may think that he really hated it, but when you pick up the thing and head for the dustbin, he actually scream to have it back.

After learning that its just another development stage in a child, I tackled this problem by not asking him to make a choice. I used to ask, “would you like to wear the Mickey shirt or the Car shirt….do you prefer the lollipop or the chocolate…do you want milk or orange juice…….”

Not anymore now. I simply give it to him without asking for him to make a choice. I choose for him. If he doesn’t want what I gave him, then I told him he will have to pick the alternative all by himself.

Or else, I would asked him to go and make his choice without me giving any comments or suggestions. For example, when we were preparing to go shopping, I would say,” ok, Binbin, go choose a shirt you want to wear to the shopping centre.” And off he went to pick up his choice.

In this way, the child learns to make decisions, no screaming from the child and reduces confusion from the parent. Let the child make his own choice, let him learn to make decision for himself and grow his independence.

Do you onced had a 2-year-old or having one now? Same situation?

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