A heady cocktail of shell-suits, fringes and trainer tongues …
Posted Mar 08 2011 5:42am
I bought the 5 year old an ‘Original flavour’ chapstick the other day on account of his dry lips. The smell took me back to my early teens; Trainers with their tongues hanging out, big fringes and turquoise shell-suits. I gave it to him and thought nothing more of it.
In my six and a half years as a mother my children have bestowed on me several surprise ‘gifts’; The time my daughter stuck a raisin as far up her nose as she could; The graffiti on the rented house dining room wall the week before we moved; The time my boy scattered a 2kg bag of dog food all over the kitchen; The time my daughter took her new born brother out of his bouncy chair and left him on the floor; the arc of poo on the cream bedroom carpet. … Just a small selection of gifts I have discovered.
I thought that now they were 5 and 6 we were over that stage, that at least their gifts would be wanted; a new coat for Mother’s Day *cough*, a shiny new watch for my birthday maybe?
But no, this morning when I woke from my slumber with a child jumping on my knees “Aaaaargh, my legs don’t bend that way” I needed a drink. I keep a glass of water by the side of the bed for such thirst quenching moments. I glugged away and was nearly sick as the heady cocktail of shell-suits, fringes and trainer tongues engulfed my senses.
It seems that some time between yesterday and today, by manner of stealth, someone, probably aged 5, had removed a chapstick from it’s casing and mixed it into my water, making a Chapstick Cocktail. As I type this I am gagging as the faint odour of chapstick is still in my throat.