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5 Funny Stories: Adult Logic is Not Kid Logic

Posted Jan 11 2009 3:01pm

Parents should never know what to expect…when it comes to their kids.

I did some weird stuff as a teenager, and when I look back at how and why things happened in our house and how we tried to explain them, it is a wonder parents even try to figure their kids out.

As adults, there are always logical reasons behind our actions.  Kids almost never have logical reasons for anything…well they are logical to the kid, but not the adult.

Here are a few stories gathered from parents I have talked to over the years (and possibly from my own house) that demonstrate the point that adult logic, is not kid logic.

1) Pocket Full of Jam

“About once a month I would do laundry and everything would come out a little sticky. One day I was loading the washing machine and my hand felt something very sticky.  My youngest son—8 at the time—had both of his pockets of his jeans filled with jam (I think strawberry).  I asked him about it and he shrugged and said he didn’t know how it got there.  Sure enough (now I was checking pockets regularly), a few weeks later I found his pockets full of apricot jam from breakfast.  I finally went upstairs and sat him down about it.  He explained that when he plays he likes to put jam on his hands an run around the monkey bars making them sticky because then he and his friends do not fall off as much.  And, he also mentioned, ‘it is a good snack for later.’”

2) Rolly Polly Bug Home

“My brother and I always used to play outside and look for rolly polly bugs—you know those little bugs that roll into a ball once you touch them?  This made us upset because we could never see them crawl.  My dad told us they liked dark covered places and that’s where they would crawl around.  Anyway, one time my brother broke his arm and we thought it would be fun to create a habitat for the rolly pollies under his cast—what a perfect dark covered environment.  This experiment went pretty well, until the rolly polly bugs kept crawling out of his cast once we were already inside and ‘washed up’ for dinner.  This would not do, because my mom would have freaked to know we were rolling rolly polly bugs down his newly broken arm.  So, we decided to make them stay we would make the habitat more inviting.  This included shoving dirt, leaves, other dead bugs and anything else we could find into his cast as well.  Well, as you can imagine, the cast really started to smell, finally after many many repeated showers, and my mom brought him into the doctor, to cut it off.  You can imagine their surprise (and anger) when they discovered our clever habitat.”

3) Skittles in Bed

I recently went to a client’s house and noticed that she had small green stains all over her pajama pants.  I didn’t say anything.  The next week I noticed them again on one of her English books.  I didn’t say anything, but couldn’t think of any reason why there were green stains on everything.  Finally, a few days ago, we had a morning appointment and I saw that her sheets had green stains too.  I finally asked her what they were from and she explained that she only eats green skittles because she thinks those taste the best.  Yet, she only likes to eat them in bed because ‘then I will eat them all day, and that isn’t good for my health, but I often fall asleep with them in my hands and then they get on the sheets and my hands.”

4) Orifices and Small Objects

kids-in-trouble I mean you know how these go: beads in the nose, and something really disgusting that I once heard called an “ear volcano”…I won’t go into details I am sure you get the picture.

Moral of the stories: Kid logic is different than adult logic, never think you have us perfectly pegged and always keep your mind open to new explanations.

Have your own story? I hope so! Of course, as always feel free to leave them in the comments.  But, I started the first editable parenting book on a wiki.  Here I am having you, my readers publish and edit my articles and add to them as they please:

-Like Wikipedia, but for parents!
-Vote on your favorite parenting advice and stories
-See what teens think of your stories (they vote too!)

Check out the editable version of this article on Parent Funny Stories and funny kid stories in our Wiki and other reader’s additions here!

This post is dedicated to Vic McCarty, my favorite radio personality who is always looking for good stories, and I am sure has some mischievous tales from his own childhood!

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5 Funny Stories: Adult Logic is Not Kid Logic

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