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21 Reasons Our Life Is More Entertaining Than Any Reality Show

Posted Jun 07 2011 5:14pm

A note from Christine – Ray has this way of keepin’ it real – very real – when it comes to talking about our family’s adventures and mishaps. Sometimes I wish he was exaggerating. Anyway… You may be able to relate. Or, you may think we’re crazy. Or should be. This is just life. Our life. Enjoy his list!

  1. Six kids (the baby’s not talking yet) asking the same question three or four times each. That’s the same question 18 to 24 times! Gitmo take notice…new torture technique.
  2. Fish crackers and cheerios everywhere – in the couch, on the kitchen, living room and bedroom floors, in my bed, in the bathroom, in the clean laundry…. in my gym shorts.
  3. A child getting hurt every few minutes, either by another sibling or because they slashed themselves with a sharp object they were told not to pick up. Forgive me if I don’t get up and rush to assist immediately.
  4. Remote controls missing or broken most of the time. It takes 15 minutes just to turn on the TV!
  5. Daughter making a pancake for herself…that’s right, all the ingredients –and the mess –for just ONE pancake! And her brothers yelling at her for being selfish. All of them, because they love pancakes.
  6. 5 year old son who goes fishing with his older brothers and falls into the pond… oh yeah, he can’t swim yet.
  7. “Friendly” neighbor who threatens to beat me up and calls us all sorts of names… because we bring him and his wife holiday cookies? Still trying to figure that one out.
  8. CPS showing up unannounced … courtesy of our “friendly” neighbor. Apparently he’d been drinking one night, almost hit a kid while driving home and decided to call CPS on us for being negligent. Wasn’t even our kid, as it turns out.
  9. Tools always missing whenever I need them. Always.
  10. Electronics suddenly combust.
  11. Black paint left out by 10 year old gets commandeered by 3 year old; garage floor and side door now have a nice modern art feel.
  12. Garage that’s only navigable for 3 days after everything is put away…because everything gets pulled off the shelves in an attempt to find who-knows-what, and unsealed trash bags don’t make it to the garbage can. Half eaten mac and cheese a la garage floor, anyone?
  13. Everyone turning to stare when we walk in the restaurant door. Whispers of, ’Look at all those kids,’ while they hope we won’t be seated next to them.
  14. Extended family who want to “only take two or three kids for the night.”  It’s a nice gesture, but we have FOUR more available, people! For the love of Pete, take them all before I go INSANE!!!!
  15. Cat poo on the garage mat. The kids have not changed her litter for weeks. Or we ran out of litter. Either way, it’s apparent that no one likes her.
  16. Six bikes out on the lawn – at midnight – because the kids didn’t bring them into the garage.
  17. Incessant banging on the door while I am trying to get in some “alone time” with my wife. {ahem}
  18. Not being invited to friends’ homes… because they think we have too many kids who will bring chaos to their otherwise peaceful abode. Might be true. Or might not. They’ll never know.
  19. Keeping communication open with our kids… with permanent marker on the hallway and entryway walls!
  20. Having to put a fourth bench seat in to the Yukon.
  21. Everything is left open… I mean everything; cereal boxes, drawers, doors, pens, windows… my toolbox.

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