been a difficult year for me with regard to adoption. I have felt a lot like my
almost-eight year-old, whose assessment of the world changes all the time and seems to
depend mostly on what kind of day she’s having. I am almost eight years-old as a parent – adoptive parenting, specifically – and my understanding and
experience of adoption changes all the time, sometimes depending on what kind
of day I’m having and sometimes depending on what kind of day someone else is
of Adoptoland often talk about their Truth. This year I struggled to recognize
mine. Not the core, but all the rest of it that surrounds the core and colors
my days. I struggled with this because Truth doesn’t live in a vacuum; it lives
in context, and in this case, the context is Adoptoland, where the terrain is well defined.
Where the (battle) lines are so clearly drawn, the teams so fervently distinct,
and the opinions so passionately defended that it seems nearly impossible to accept
one Truth without rejecting another, to support someone without injuring
someone else. To embrace my Truth without denying someone else’s.
I am an
adoptive parent doing my best and finding my way.
I love my
their first families.
I read things about adoption that I don’t understand and can’t relate to; I read things that make me want to turn away; I read things that haunt me, things that make me laugh, things that give me hope.
write things other people don’t understand and can’t relate to. I sometimes write things that make people angry or defensive or relieved
I hate adoption and wish it would go away. Some days I don’t.
One of my
2013 resolutions is to highlight 13 of the people whose Truth challenges me, for theirs are the voices that shake and unsettle me, and their Truths help shape my own. I'm calling it 13 "Scary" (for me) Adoption Bloggers I Love, not because they themselves are "scary," but because I am sometimes scared by their Truth. (If you plan to make a big hairy deal of how I titled this post, please spare me. This is my Truth. Remember?)