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10 ways to make a toddler's transition from crib to bed easier....(on the parents)

Posted Jun 02 2009 3:23pm
I knew the day would come. It was inevitable. All babies must grow up. How do I know this? When they can start climbing out of their own cribs, I suppose it's time to face the music. And to think....just a month ago, I giggled as I told a friend of mine that Garrett and Landon still had not figured out how to climb out of their cribs. (ETA: Until I saw the linkwithin below, I had totally forgotten that Landon had climbed out of his crib once back in January but hadn't done it since....did he actually forget? Is that even possible?)

First it was Garrett who figured out how to escape climb out of his crib. I totally underestimated that little guy. He may be on the smaller side but he's smarter than I give him credit for. Then Landon, who is always observing others, must have watched Garrett climb out a few times and then finally dared to try it himself. They would wander around the house, usually waking everyone else up with their laughter or chatter. Cole is completely freaked out over the whole thing because Garrett will go in to Cole and Bella's room and just stare Cole down until he wakes up. I have to admit, there is something a little creepy about waking up to find a little person standing barely 2 inches away from your face, just staring at you until you wake up.

Figuring it was just a matter of time before one of them broke a bone or cracked their heads open from jumping out of the crib, I told Tim, "I think it's time to bite the bullet and convert their cribs into toddler beds. Goodbye 8-hrs of sleep per night....hello sleep deprivation....again...."

So 3 nights ago, the boys watched excitedly as Daddy converted their cribs to toddler beds. And then all hell broke loose. We took turns chasing them back into their rooms after each brisk escape. During the night, Tim took the 12:30 am, 1:30 am and 2:30 am shift....I took the 3:00 am, 4:00 am, and 5:30 am shift. Then they both hopped into bed with me at 6:00 am, along with Cole who was grumpy from being woken up. Same exact routine over the last couple of nights.

I'm so tired I can hardly see straight. If I'm gonna be this sleep deprived, I may as well have a 3rd set of newborn twins (um....God, in case you're listening...that was just a JOKE). So in my sleep deprived state yesterday morning, I whined to Tim, "I don't know how many more nights of this I can stand....I'm soooooo freakin tired". Tim shrugged and said, "Well, what can we do?". So I came up with some ideas that may require one more night of sleep deprivation but it would be SO worth it. Perhaps this isn't exactly what the gentle-natured Dr Sears would recommend but desperate times call for desperate measures.

1) Stand outside their bedroom door and as soon as they make an appearance (which they inevitably will), speak into a bullhorn and say, "You have been busted. Return to your beds immediately". If that doesn't scare them off, press the siren button to really show I mean business.....sure, the whole entire neighborhood will be awake after this but why should I have to suffer alone?

2) Lay them down on the bed and plaster duct tape on their foreheads and feet, completely adhering them to the bed for at least the next 8 hours....and pray like a crazy woman that the duct tape doesn't leave any telling marks.

3) Sleep under their beds and as soon as they set foot on the ground, grab their ankles suddenly and scream "gotcha"....although then I might get stuck cleaning two of the crappiest diapers I've ever seen (or smelled, for that matter).

4) Put broken eggshells on the floor next to their beds.....yeah, that oughta hurt.

5) Attach a pail of water to their bedroom door....as soon as they open the door, they get sprayed with cold water.

6) Put bubble wrap on the floor next to their beds....there's some definite shock value right there.

7) Pour super glue on the floor....that'll stop them dead in their tracks....and perhaps for the rest of the next day (which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing)

8) Hide in their closet, while wearing a Freddie Kruger costume....and right as they climb out of bed, jump out of the closet and sing quietly in a creepy voice, "One, Two...Freddie's coming for you....Three, Four...Better lock your door....Five, Six....Grab a crucifix...Seven, Eight....Gonna stay up late....Nine, Ten...Never sleep again"....although this method may land them in a therapist's office at a fairly early age (but then again, they are MY kids...they'll be in therapy at some point in their lives anyway).

9) Wait outside their room and as soon as they step foot out the door, start snapping pictures with the camera....the flash will temporarily blind them and most certainly incapacitate them immediately.

10) To hell with it....I could just get stinkin' drunk and pass out so heavily that I won't care that they've escaped from their beds....although I may still end up feeling like crap in the morning anyway. What's worse....severe sleep deprivation from being up all night chasing them back into bed or a vodka hang-over? Hmmmm, I'll get back to you on this one....
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