1. Make a list of all you can’t stand about work/life
Those who are really stuck may complain that they don’t know what they
want. Not true. Make a list of all you do not want or like about your
current situation and you will find on the flip side, something you DO
want! Write it down.
2. Recognize that ALL change (good or bad) means loss
The ‘evil’ we know is sometimes less scary than the ‘evil’ we don’t
know. It is normal to be afraid to make a change because of what you
stand to lose. However, the only way is forward, so you might as well
accept whatever perceived loss of status, money or identity and
realize that more happiness awaits. In fact, if everyone else is
telling you you are crazy for making a change, you are on the right
track!
3. Reframe ‘I can’t!’ to ‘I can!’
“I’m not good enough.” “I’m too old.” “I’m not qualified.” NOT TRUE!
Look for examples in your life, your surroundings, in the media or in
books of people who have done things against the odds and use those
examples as symbols of what’s possible for you. Change your vocabulary
and watch your results change.
4. Understand how the past got you stuck today
Many of us make vows when we are young that get us stuck as adults.
“I’ll never be like my parents!” “I won’t be poor!” “I’ll show them!”
Whatever it is, the motivation you chose at some early point worked
but is no longer working now. Determine what your old motivation for
your life was, decide if it still serves you and if not, CHANGE it.
Fast!
5. Realize that discovering your ‘purpose’ does not have to be hard or
Grand Many people, when searching for direction in their life may also be
putting their life’s purpose into question. Most make the mistake of
thinking they have to have a Mother Teresa-level of purpose to rate.
It’s just not true and that likely keeps you stuck or suffering. Who
you are everyday and what you do naturally (whether it fits your job
description or not) is your purpose. How you affect others positively
is your purpose. What you contribute that is uniquely you is your
purpose. It’s right under your nose. Recognize it and try to make it
central to whatever you do next.
6. Gain a criteria for happiness
Most people know they are not satisfied but really lack clear criteria
for what will make them happy. Humans feel satisfied when their needs
are met and they don’t have to compromise their values. Write down
what you truly need (emotionally, not financially) and value. Do you
need stability? Honesty? Recognition? Do you value spirituality?
Adventure? Education? These are not optional. Get purposeful about
getting these things in your life and new directions become clear.
7. Research ALL that interests you
List all fields, jobs, careers, or areas of interest. Choose no more
than three at a time to research. Besides the internet, try to talk to
people who will let you have an informational interview or give you
the real scoop on the areas you are interested in. A process of
elimination will begin and one particular area may get traction
through luck and coincidence that starts to feel like the front-runner.
8. Tell the truth about your money life
Money is usually the first thing that stops people from pursuing what
they truly want. Don’t let it stop you. Get straight with your money.
Even if it’s painful to see, know what you have and don’t. Don’t let
it stop you. Moonlight, borrow or barter to move toward your new
direction.
9. Put Yourself in Opportunity’s Way
It’s time to push the envelope. Take risks, get out of your comfort
zone and get out there. See opportunity where it is — everywhere –
and don’t be shy about asking for favors or things that seem pushy.
There are great rewards out there when you put yourself on the line.
10.Create a Plan and Get Support
Make a timeline for how you are going to cross over into something
new. It usually takes 1-3 years to fully transition into a new
direction. Don’t fret. Make a monthly plan and get plenty of
cheerleaders around you. No naysayers! Hire a coach or get a group of
like minded folks around you and you will be settled in a new,
satisfying direction before you know it.
And note: Unbearable situations seem more bearable when you know you
are on your way out. Hang in there!
©2009 Laura Berman Fortgang, author of Now What?: 90 Days to a New
Life Direction
Author Bio
Laura Berman Fortgang, author of Now What?: 90 Days to a New Life
Direction, is a pioneer in the life-coaching profession. A renowned
speaker and the president and owner of InterCoach, Inc., a full-
service life-coaching business that works with individuals, small
businesses, and corporations, she is also the author of The Little
Book on Meaning, Living Your Best Life and Take Yourself to the Top.
She lives in Montclair, New Jersey.
1. Make a list of all you can’t stand about work/life
Those who are really stuck may complain that they don’t know what they
want. Not true. Make a list of all you do not want or like about your
current situation and you will find on the flip side, something you DO
want! Write it down.
2. Recognize that ALL change (good or bad) means loss
The ‘evil’ we know is sometimes less scary than the ‘evil’ we don’t
know. It is normal to be afraid to make a change because of what you
stand to lose. However, the only way is forward, so you might as well
accept whatever perceived loss of status, money or identity and
realize that more happiness awaits. In fact, if everyone else is
telling you you are crazy for making a change, you are on the right
track!
3. Reframe ‘I can’t!’ to ‘I can!’
“I’m not good enough.” “I’m too old.” “I’m not qualified.” NOT TRUE!
Look for examples in your life, your surroundings, in the media or in
books of people who have done things against the odds and use those
examples as symbols of what’s possible for you. Change your vocabulary
and watch your results change.
4. Understand how the past got you stuck today
Many of us make vows when we are young that get us stuck as adults.
“I’ll never be like my parents!” “I won’t be poor!” “I’ll show them!”
Whatever it is, the motivation you chose at some early point worked
but is no longer working now. Determine what your old motivation for
your life was, decide if it still serves you and if not, CHANGE it.
Fast!
5. Realize that discovering your ‘purpose’ does not have to be hard or
Grand Many people, when searching for direction in their life may also be
putting their life’s purpose into question. Most make the mistake of
thinking they have to have a Mother Teresa-level of purpose to rate.
It’s just not true and that likely keeps you stuck or suffering. Who
you are everyday and what you do naturally (whether it fits your job
description or not) is your purpose. How you affect others positively
is your purpose. What you contribute that is uniquely you is your
purpose. It’s right under your nose. Recognize it and try to make it
central to whatever you do next.
6. Gain a criteria for happiness
Most people know they are not satisfied but really lack clear criteria
for what will make them happy. Humans feel satisfied when their needs
are met and they don’t have to compromise their values. Write down
what you truly need (emotionally, not financially) and value. Do you
need stability? Honesty? Recognition? Do you value spirituality?
Adventure? Education? These are not optional. Get purposeful about
getting these things in your life and new directions become clear.
7. Research ALL that interests you
List all fields, jobs, careers, or areas of interest. Choose no more
than three at a time to research. Besides the internet, try to talk to
people who will let you have an informational interview or give you
the real scoop on the areas you are interested in. A process of
elimination will begin and one particular area may get traction
through luck and coincidence that starts to feel like the front-runner.
8. Tell the truth about your money life
Money is usually the first thing that stops people from pursuing what
they truly want. Don’t let it stop you. Get straight with your money.
Even if it’s painful to see, know what you have and don’t. Don’t let
it stop you. Moonlight, borrow or barter to move toward your new
direction.
9. Put Yourself in Opportunity’s Way
It’s time to push the envelope. Take risks, get out of your comfort
zone and get out there. See opportunity where it is — everywhere –
and don’t be shy about asking for favors or things that seem pushy.
There are great rewards out there when you put yourself on the line.
10.Create a Plan and Get Support
Make a timeline for how you are going to cross over into something
new. It usually takes 1-3 years to fully transition into a new
direction. Don’t fret. Make a monthly plan and get plenty of
cheerleaders around you. No naysayers! Hire a coach or get a group of
like minded folks around you and you will be settled in a new,
satisfying direction before you know it.
And note: Unbearable situations seem more bearable when you know you
are on your way out. Hang in there!
©2009 Laura Berman Fortgang, author of Now What?: 90 Days to a New
Life Direction
Author Bio
Laura Berman Fortgang, author of Now What?: 90 Days to a New Life
Direction, is a pioneer in the life-coaching profession. A renowned
speaker and the president and owner of InterCoach, Inc., a full-
service life-coaching business that works with individuals, small
businesses, and corporations, she is also the author of The Little
Book on Meaning, Living Your Best Life and Take Yourself to the Top.
She lives in Montclair, New Jersey.