I think a lot of my problems are with the programming in my head.
I do believe that as an athlete you have to show yourself a little self-love to succeed. All this setting of goals and making time for training is teaches you to be self-centered (different from selfish) if that makes sense.
The need to constantly tell myself "I can", and follow-it up with the "do", and then succeed is the only way I think I will be able to change what it is I hear in my head.
I think that's where I fell last week; when it clicked for me that there's so much more wrapped up in my head than just "finishing" the half -- or any of the races I attempt for that matter. Anyone can "finish", pretty much. if they don't care about their time.
But I've worked hard and feel llike I chose reasonable goal. I was out there on my long runs when others were MIA or the club canceled a run. I was at the track, actually adhereing to my track workouts when others didn't. So, yeah, I guess I expect to finish decently and better than those who slacked! Is that expecting too much?
If I don't, I was feeling like my weight would win yet again.
I'm not sure I'm entirely past that thought, but I'm working on it daily.