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my wife had gastric band 3 years ago and has recently left me


Posted by cloe

she told me 70% of gastric bands end up in divorce. is this a fact she has lost 8 stone and she has totally changed personallity .

she has gone from a loving caring 47 year old mother to a party going person who only cres about herself and her looks and has started taking drugs

 

has anybody else had similar experiences

 
Answers (2)
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Personally I have had a gastric bypass.  I have several friends who have also had weight loss surgery.  I can tell you this, everyone is different.  I've seen relationships both thrive and fail in light of the surgery results.

I would suggest, and I am not a medical professional, that the real reasons for being overweight for her were never dealt with.  And now, that's she's lost the weight, she's probably still looking for whatever it is that she "hungers" for; whatever is at the root of her eating issues.

I know for some, dropping the weight and gaining the attention of people she didn't ordinarily recieve can be a high, at least for a while.  Personally, I'm not one for attention, so I never had a problem in that area.  The drinking and drug-use could be something called "addiction transference"

Addiction Transference can happen after weight loss surgery... Food can no longer be the "drug of choice" to numb-out feelings of inadequacy, so the person finds other things, like drugs and/or alcohol, shopping, hoarding, etc.  Personally, my "drug" was shopping for a brief period of 3 months, before my husband showed me in black and white what I was spending.  Ouch!

Most likely she needs professional help in identifying and resolving her issues.  How you go about that kind of intervention I can't tell you, but I'm certain there are resouces out there to help.  My husband just coming out honestly and candidly did the trick for me. Luckily I was aware of AT and knew what I had to do to make things right.

Good luck to you... I feel for you and your family.   

I work with several people that had gastric bypass.  Something similar happened to one of them.  Of the other two, one never lost enough to feel pretty but ultimately left her husband due to his abusive behavior, and the other one had been in a homosexual relationship with another woman and suddenly decided she was no longer homosexual and began looking for a relationship with a man.  It's a very odd thing what happens when people start feeling better about their physical appearance.
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