by Kathy Henderson
I have a two-year-old daughter, and am often out with her while running errands or just meandering in town. She is very friendly and likes to smile and wave at passersby, and at store clerks and coffee shop waiters. The latter not infrequently produces an offer of a cookie or other treat for my daughter. Often, the well-intentioned waiter will say directly to my daughter “Would you like a cookie?” Sometimes, the waiter will be kind enough to ask me first (“Is it okay if she has a cookie?”), but at the same time is holding said cookie in my daughter’s face. As you might imagine, it is extremely difficult at that point to refuse the treat, both in terms of the tears (my daughter’s) that will ensue and the offense to the waiter caused by my refusal, who doesn’t seem satisfied by “I try to limit her sweets” or “I don’t really want her to have a treat at this point in the morning.”
But here is a new twist. Recently, my daughter had an allergic reaction to some unknown substance. She is scheduled for allergy testing. In the mean time, we are being cautious with foods that may contain common allergens, particularly nuts. So the last time she was offered a treat, I politely declined with “Actually, she has allergies, so I can’t give her baked goods that may contain these foods.” The waiter’s response was a total turn-around; she was understanding and took no offense at all. It is interesting that limiting treats because of nutrition or weight management concerns is apparently not legitimate, while limits due to allergy issues are legitimate. In our Rudd Center work in preschools, we have encountered a similar phenomenon: Preschool directors will tell us that they communicate to parents and staff that their nutrition policies – such as parents not being allowed to bring food in to share for parties – are due to allergies rather than nutrition concerns. The directors tell us they have a much easier time with compliance when the policy is framed in this way. In a daycare my daughter was in last year, parents were required to send kosher meals (which meant no meat). Everyone complied and there were no complaints.
Why is it that people are generally so much more respectful of parents’ food-related decisions due to allergies or religion, but not of these same decisions when framed as nutrition- or weight management-based? Is it the immediacy of an allergic reaction that drives the point home? The apparent severity? And why is religion a more respected explanation than general health? Perhaps it is the idea that one “violation” will have little impact on health, while we see violation of religious tradition as a bigger deal. On the other hand, there is no evidence that one cigarette will cause major health consequences, and most of us would be pretty upset if our children were offered one cigarette. The reality is that many more children are impacted by poor nutrition and weight problems than are affected by food allergies. How do we get the general public on board with respecting sound nutritional choices for our children?
by Kathy Henderson
I have a two-year-old daughter, and am often out with her while running errands or just meandering in town. She is very friendly and likes to smile and wave at passersby, and at store clerks and coffee shop waiters. The latter not infrequently produces an offer of a cookie or other treat for my daughter. Often, the well-intentioned waiter will say directly to my daughter “Would you like a cookie?” Sometimes, the waiter will be kind enough to ask me first (“Is it okay if she has a cookie?”), but at the same time is holding said cookie in my daughter’s face. As you might imagine, it is extremely difficult at that point to refuse the treat, both in terms of the tears (my daughter’s) that will ensue and the offense to the waiter caused by my refusal, who doesn’t seem satisfied by “I try to limit her sweets” or “I don’t really want her to have a treat at this point in the morning.”
But here is a new twist. Recently, my daughter had an allergic reaction to some unknown substance. She is scheduled for allergy testing. In the mean time, we are being cautious with foods that may contain common allergens, particularly nuts. So the last time she was offered a treat, I politely declined with “Actually, she has allergies, so I can’t give her baked goods that may contain these foods.” The waiter’s response was a total turn-around; she was understanding and took no offense at all. It is interesting that limiting treats because of nutrition or weight management concerns is apparently not legitimate, while limits due to allergy issues are legitimate. In our Rudd Center work in preschools, we have encountered a similar phenomenon: Preschool directors will tell us that they communicate to parents and staff that their nutrition policies – such as parents not being allowed to bring food in to share for parties – are due to allergies rather than nutrition concerns. The directors tell us they have a much easier time with compliance when the policy is framed in this way. In a daycare my daughter was in last year, parents were required to send kosher meals (which meant no meat). Everyone complied and there were no complaints.
Why is it that people are generally so much more respectful of parents’ food-related decisions due to allergies or religion, but not of these same decisions when framed as nutrition- or weight management-based? Is it the immediacy of an allergic reaction that drives the point home? The apparent severity? And why is religion a more respected explanation than general health? Perhaps it is the idea that one “violation” will have little impact on health, while we see violation of religious tradition as a bigger deal. On the other hand, there is no evidence that one cigarette will cause major health consequences, and most of us would be pretty upset if our children were offered one cigarette. The reality is that many more children are impacted by poor nutrition and weight problems than are affected by food allergies. How do we get the general public on board with respecting sound nutritional choices for our children?