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Way, Way Too Much Information

Posted Aug 24 2008 1:37pm
So everybody knows those annoying little e-mail questionnaires, everybody gets 'em and probably do like I usually do, scoff "Who has time for this crap?? Must be nice to be a [insesrt slackeresque job title here]!" Well, dang it, I complete that stuff once in a while, and I did today, and for fun I added it to the end of a file I started a while back when I got about 3 of those different questionnaires on the same day and decided that it'd be easy to answer them if I kept a stock file of the questions with my answers. How retarded is that?

Anyway, it strikes me as a grand idea at this early hour (beware ideas hatched at weird hours, experience tells me) to post the whole darn thing as a blog entry, and hereby TAG anybody who feels like following suit. C'mon, admit it, it's kind of fun.

With no further ado...I present, way more information than you ever asked for, about me:

Have I:

Gone on a blind date: Yes. Once. To my junior Prom. His name was Jim and he looked like a fish, and he tried to kiss me at the end of the evening and all I could think as I saw him coming at me open-mouthed was “Run away, run away!!” It was horrid.

Skipped school: Yup. In high school, a few times, but never for drugs or alcohol or even for boys. The few times I remember, it was just to hang out and gab with my friend Shasta as we drove around looking for birds to check off on Mr. Kator’s birdwatching list. Really.

Watched someone die: Yup. The worst are young kids, kids my kids’ ages. The second worst are babies. The older folks are easier but still not easy. I’ll blog about this separately because I have a lot to say about it.

Been to Canada: Nope. Not even when I lived only an hour and a half south of it.

Been to Mexico: Nope. Not yet.

Been to Florida: Yup. Bunch of times, around 10 or so.

Been on a plane: Mmm hmm.

Been lost: Once, in downtown Minneapolis, when I was about 15 and there for the BPA national competition. I couldn’t catch a cab after about 45 minutes from where my data processing final had been held, and so started walking toward the tall buildings I knew the hotel was amongst. I was headed the right direction, but it was a long ways, and through crappy areas, and a skinhead kid jumped up and followed me harassing me for money for a minute or so and then violently cursing at me when I ignored him. I would later realize that the jittering in my nerves was adrenaline.

Been on the opposite side of the country: Yup. And gonna live on the other side of it for a couple of years, starting really soon.

Swam in the ocean: Yup, though I don’t know if I’d call it swimming. I don’t swim a great deal anywhere, but I enjoy cavorting in 4 or 4.5 feet of seawater a little bit. The safest I’ve ever felt in the water is in the Bahamas this past spring with my sweet amphibious beau.

Had your booze taken away by the cops: Nope. Heck, I think I drank twice or maybe three times before I turned 21, and have probably been *really* drunk only 4 or 5 times in my life.

Lettered in a high school sport: Yep. Was on Drill Team all four years, think I still have my jacket at mom and dad’s. And in college at UI, I was a student athletic trainer which was also considered a varsity sport. Ludicrous, but I’ve got a jacket to prove it.

Cried yourself to sleep: Yup. More times than somebody oughta. But that’s all done now.

Played cops and robbers: Yup, when I was little – I always had the most fun playing with my cousins Kelly James and Christy – and somehow, James always got to make up the games and make the rules. More often than not, we played some variation of what he called “Commando Tactics” (which he tried hard to say without grinning) and it always involved lots of running, jumping off porches, bailing off swings, and so forth. But it was so much fun.

Played dolls: Yup. When I was little and cute. Story goes, Christmas when I was 5 and Grandma was asking all the kids what they wanted for Christmas. Said Christy: “I want a dolly.” Said Melisa: “I want a dolly too.” Said me: “I want a gun.” Got one, too, the coolest little cork rifle.

Recently colored with crayons: Yup. Way cheaper than therapy.

Sang Karaoke: Yup. A couple of times. And only after copious amounts of libation. Oddly enough, to the same song both times, and not a song I’m any good at singing. (As if there were such a song.) “Turn, Turn, Turn” by The Byrds. First time, with Tina, and some random bar thugs, and I can’t hear the damn song without feeling that scuzzbag’s hands all over me. Second time, I think with Brian and the gang. Less traumatic but probably equally poor display of vocal prowess.

Paid for a meal with coins only: Yup. Funny story, I wasn’t even destitute, I just wanted to grab a donut and coffee on my way somewhere and hadn’t been to the ATM so didn’t have any foldy money, thought I had enough quarters in my wallet and turns out most of them were nickels – so here I am emptying my wallet on the counter in Dunkin Donuts and feeling ever-so-pathetic when I came up 20 cents short and the kid behind the counter gave me a very caring look along with a “Don’t worry about it, ma’am.” It sucked.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't: Yup. But in my defense, it was always for love. And I still can’t argue that rationale, scars and all.

Cheated on an exam: Not for myself, I’ve always been a good student and a good test-taker so never have had to cheat. But because I’m a good student I have been (both knowingly and unknowingly) the source of correct answers to some other folks.

Made prank phone calls: Yup. Long time ago, hurting for recreation in Soda Springs, Brian and I got hold of a couple of dad’s Western Horseman magazines and started calling the numbers in the back and asking about bizarre veterinary supplies we made up, ludicrous things that weren’t real but sounded like they could have been. Our favorite was a horse filter. These poor people on the other end of the line, just trying to be friendly and helpful and figure out what the hell we were talking about. We had so much fun doing that, I’m surprised the phone company didn’t shut us down when Dad brought home the 1-800 directory from work.

Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose: Yes. Most notably, Sprite, with Suzi in 3rd grade at a high school basketball game. Can’t remember what over, but I remember the sparkly feeling. X

Caught a snowflake on your tongue: Yup

Danced in the rain: Yup

Written a letter to Santa Claus: Yup.

Been kissed under the mistletoe: Mmm hmmm.

Watched the sunrise with someone you care about: Yup. And the sunset too.

Been arrested: Nope.

Blown bubbles: Yup. The bottled kind, and also the snot kind, from laughing too hard after crying.

Gone ice-skating: A really long time ago. Now, it’s just asking for crutches.

Been skinny dipping outdoors: Nope. Not ever. This is one that’ll be fixed this summer.

Gone to the movies: Of course. What the hell kind of stupid question is that?

Any nickname? VikingGoddess, Red, Potato Famine Hottie

Mother's name? Rae Ann

Favorite drink? Pepsi and coffee (it's a tie)

Tattoos? Just one

Piercings? ears only

How much do you love your job? Extremely. More than you should be able to love a job where you get peed on, puked on, spit at, swung at, called names, and not always taken seriously, and every bit as much as you should love a job where you make a difference for somebody every day and occasionally save a life.

Birthplace? Soda Springs, Idaho

Favorite vacation spot? St. Thomas, USVI. Or Shaker Village, KY

Ever been to Africa? no, but I know a couple of someones who have

Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Yup, sure have. And had cake for dinner one time too. And one time, raspberries and cream with lots of sugar.

Ever been on TV? Yeah, on the news, in Idaho a few times for various public appearances and various and sundry academic junk; and in Colorado Springs twice, once with Hayley when she was filmed having a LifeLink DNA Child Safety Kit mouth swab thingy done, and once just last winter as we test-drove our new ER.

Ever steal any traffic signs? No, but I know someone who has…

Ever been in a car accident? A few, but none my fault. Really. Firstly, with Tina when some dumbass ran a stop sign and plowed into the Granada (it was probably that asshole from karaoke at the Oxbow); secondly when some dipshit preferred not to notice I was actually stopped at the red light and not yet out of his way the split second it turned green. And thirdly, last week on my way to work. Friggin’ IDIOTS!

Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? I drive a gray 4-door car. Ride in a gray 4-door truck, and occasionally drive it. And ride on a cobalt blue no-door (HD Road King).

favorite salad dressing? Ranch

Favorite Pie? Apple. But only if it’s done right.

Favorite number? what a retarded question

Favorite movie? Finding Forrester, O Brother Where Art Thou, A Knight's Tale, Steel Magnolias

Favorite holiday? Christmas

Favorite dessert? anything chocolatey and gooey

Favorite food? carbs. potatoes, rice, bread, pasta. Atkins Schmatkins.

Favorite flower? Stargazer lilies

Favorite day of the week? Sunday

Favorite brand of body wash? anything with moisturizers in it

Favorite toothpaste? Crest Whitening Expressions vanilla mint

Favorite smells? the necks of the people I love, cookies baking in the oven, laundry fresh from the dryer

What do you do to relax? Drink coffee and do the crossword puzzle with Scott, read a book, color with the kids, soak in the tub with Scott, surf the web, blog.

How do you see yourself in 10 years? Happy and financially more comfortable.

Ever been given an engagement ring?

Yup. Coupla times.

Longest relationship?

So far, my first husband, Kevin.

Last gift you received?

A Shippensburg Area EMS cookbook, for a belated Mother’s Day gift from my sweetie

Ever dropped a cell phone?

A time or three. And had one chucked a hundred yards down the street, too. (See “Longest Relationship” above.)

When’s the last time you worked out?

Does lifting my coffee cup to my mouth count?

What do you spend a lot of money on?

Groceries. I love to cook, bake, and so forth. So that’s where I overspend.

Last food you ate?

The rest of Hayley’s chicken dunkers from Good Times, about an hour ago.

First thing you notice about the opposite sex?

If he’s far away, I notice the way he carries himself. If he’s close, I definitely notice his eyes first. And if he’s turned away from me? His butt. If he’s in shorts or otherwise naked from the knees down? His calves.

One favorite song?

”Animals” by Nickelback

Where do you live?

For a couple more weeks, in Colorado Springs. After that, in South Central Pennsylvania.

High School you attended?

Soda Springs High School.

Cell phone service provider:

AT&T. And I think my iPhone is just about the coolest gadget ever invented.

Favorite mall store:


Longest job you’ve had:

I don’t think I’ve done anything longer than about 5 years, which is how long I’ve been an ER nurse.

Do you own a pair of dice?

If we’re talking fuzzy dice for rearview mirrors, then no. Game-type dice, I probably own a bunch between all the games we have. And I once owned a pair of kinky dice, but I haven’t seen ‘em for a few years, maybe I threw them away.

Do you prank call people?:

Nope, but I answer the phone like a retard a lot when it’s somebody I know.

Last wedding you atttended?

My ex-brother-in-law’s.

First friend you’d call if you won the lottery:

Scott. He’s the first person I call about everything.

Last time you saw your best friend:

In person? Early in the morning of May 22. And it seems like months ago.

Via webcam? About two hours ago.

Favorite fast food?


Biggest lie you’ve ever heard:

”That was a mean thing to say, and I won’t do it again.”

Favorite place to eat with friends?

Anywhere quiet enough to carry on a conversation

Can you cook?

Anything you want.

What car do you drive?:

An ’07 Saturn Ion

Best kiss:

Nope, sorry, that one’s just for me to enjoy.

Last time you cried?:

Tonight. Listening to a song that’s been sort of an anthem for us.

Most disliked foods:

Mollusks, crustaceans, mushrooms, and sushi. Things that shouldn’t be considered foods at all.

Thing you like most about yourself:

My optimistic, easygoing and cheery nature.

Thing you dislike most about yourself:

My amazing capability of ignoring my own needs while I bend over backwards to meet everyone else’s.

Longest shift you’ve worked at a job?:

18 hours.

Favorite movie?

Finding Forrester

Can you sing?

I can’t, but I do, when there are very few people around to make fun of me.

Last concert you attended?

Probably Aerosmith at the Pepsi Center. A long damn time ago. But I get to see KISS at Sturgis this summer.

Last kiss?

Kyle, as I tucked him in about a half hour ago. Last *real* kiss? Scott, early in the morning of May 22.

Last movie rented:

American Pie.

One thing you never leave the house without:

My Cell Phone

Favorite vacation spot:

Anywhere warm

Laptop or Desktop?


Favorite comedian: Carlos Mencia

Do you smoke?

Nope. Dad had me take a puff of his nasty stogie when I was about 11: Good move. Haven’t wanted to be a smoker since. I did smoke an entire Cuban one night, along with other stupid decisions.

Do you sleep with or without clothes?

If I’m by myself, I wear one of Scott’s t-shirts. If he’s with me, not so much.

Who sleeps with you every night?

I don’t sleep every night. I’m a nightshifter, sometimes I sleep in the day. Whenever schedules permit, it’s Scott.

Do long distance relationships work?:

They can but it’s really hard to be happy that way.

How many times have you been pulled over by the police??

Probably 6 or 7 times.

Pancakes or French toast?

Pancakes, pancakes and pancakes.

Do you like coffee?:

Enough to drink a pot or better per day. Singlehandedly. “It’s the lifeblood that fuels the dreams of champions!!” (from “Kicking and Screaming”)

How do you like your eggs?

Scrambled. With cheese.

Do you believe in astrology?

Not really. But that doesn’t stop me from reading my horoscope every day and trying to draw parallels to real life.

Last person you talked to on the phone?:


Last person on your missed call list?:


What was the last text message you received?

One from Scott telling me sweetly and in no uncertain terms how much he loves me and how important I am to him. ;-)

XBOX 360 or PS3?

Scrabble. Trivial Pursuit. And other games that don’t plug in.

Number of pillows?:

On my bed: 6. Under my head when I sleep: just 1.

What are you wearing right now?:

a teeny tan tank top, plaid short shorts

Pick a lyric, any lyric: If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?

What kind of jelly/jam do you like on your PB&J?:

Raspberry. Preferably homemade. From berries from my Grandpa’s farm.

Can you play pool?:

Not very well, but I like it anyhoo.

Can you swim?

Enough so I won’t perish in the ocean. Unless the sharks get me. It’s like Scott says, you don’t have to be the fastest swimmer. You just have to be faster than the slowest.

Favorite ice cream??:

Blue Bunny “Bunny Tracks”

Do you like maps?

Don’t know if anybody *likes* maps, but I’m not afraid of them, and can follow them pretty well and re-fold them okay. But the Google Maps function of my iPhone, with built in GPS locator, is the shit, and makes it pretty easy to navigate anywhere.

A random fact about yourself:

I can move my ears and clap with one hand. Retarded, I know. Looks even stupider than it sounds.

Fruit or cream pies?

Fruit. And I make the best apple pie west of the Mississippi. Soon to be East of.

Ever attend a theme party?:

I co-hosted the first annual White Trash Bash, which was loads of fun and will definitely happen again. And my kids and I were yams for the first ever HallowGiving – a costumed Thanksgiving dinner that happened halfway between Halloween and Thanksgiving at my brother’s abode. You had to come dressed as something related to Thanksgiving. Plus, Scott and I will be hosting a few events of our own now that we’re settling down into a normal-people life.

Favorite season?


Last time you laughed at something stupid?

I laugh at stupid things almost daily, usually at inopportune moments.

What time did you wake up this morning? ?

About 6, I think. Whatever time my sweetheart called me and asked me to wave to the webcam.

Best thing about winter?

Skiing. Which I haven’t done for a few years.

Last time a cop gave you a ticket?

One day in the spring of ’05. I was on my way to work, on call and running over the 45-minute response time we have because both kids had strep (yes, confirmed) and I’d kept them home from school that day on the off chance that I wouldn’t get called in. So I’d gotten them up and fed and to school, and was busting ass to get to work and blew through a red light two blocks from the hospital, just not paying attention. The officer in the stealthy unmarked car pulled me over in the hospital parking lot, and gave me a ticket despite the sticker on the back of my name badge that says “Attention civil authorities: please assist the bearer in getting her late ass to work” or something. Which I thought was sketchy. So I chose to contest the ticket, and when I met the officer in traffic court I did some creative name-dropping and maybe a little shameless eyelash-batting – and he agreed to suspend the ticket.

The kicker: the next day (I swear I’m not making this up) I got to work and my first patient of the day was the very same officer, who’d been hit by a car while in his cruiser. The look on his face was priceless when he saw who his nurse was, and he appreciated me for the Vicodin and for being merciful to him when he was on my turf.

Name of your first pet?:


Pirates: Cool or overrated?:

Avast! Ye scurvy bilge rats, it’s a pirate’s life for me! Arrrrrrrrr!

What are you doing this weekend??



August 16

What do you want to be?

Happy and rich and published

Smiling right now?:


Do you miss somebody right now?

Very much

If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?

The Caribbean

Are you in high school?:

Nope, but I was, a lot of years ago.

Do you have a harmless crush on anyone?

Steven Tyler, Sean Connery.

What color is your swimsuit?:

I have a black one and a turquoise one.

Did you go on vacation last month?:

Matter of fact, I did. And the month before that, too. It’s been tough.

Ever been on a cruise?:

Yup, twice now.

Do you have a sister?


Are you upstairs?:

Third floor apartment

Have you ever been in the hospital?

Well, it's part of my job so I can't really avoid it now can I? As a patient, only thrice, twice to have babies and once due to a hemorrhagic state of the same pertinent anatomy to the point where I almost didn’t have vital signs…

Do you wish you could see anyone in particular right now?

My sweetheart.

What jewelry are you wearing?

My engagement ring, and my watch.

What are you going to do after this questionnaire??

Go to damn bed.
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