So Brian sent me an e-mail last night, recapping the winners of the Washington Post Mensa Invitational, a (possibly fictional, but funny as hell) contest wherein folks were challenged to take a regular word, and then add, subtract, or change just one letter to result in a word with a new meaning. Here's the rundown:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Anyhoo, Scott and I found these wildly funny this morning as we mowed through a pot of coffee, especially since we have all kinds of running inside jokes surrounding words and meanings (i.e. people who use non-words like irregardless and supposably) and since we good-naturedly correct each other sometimes on usage (yes, sometimes he even corrects me, the Goddess of Grammar, the Mistress of Mechanics), and since he may be among the few people I know who correctly pronounce the name of that orange-flavored ice cream concoction (it's sherBET, people, not sherBERT)... Good humor. And then Scott got to work this morning and had some guy on scene tell him "Don't be such a pestimist." Niiiiiiiice.
I may spend some worthless time thinking of more. Who knows. Weigh in, if'n ya have a suggestion. I'm all ears.
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Anyhoo, Scott and I found these wildly funny this morning as we mowed through a pot of coffee, especially since we have all kinds of running inside jokes surrounding words and meanings (i.e. people who use non-words like irregardless and supposably) and since we good-naturedly correct each other sometimes on usage (yes, sometimes he even corrects me, the Goddess of Grammar, the Mistress of Mechanics), and since he may be among the few people I know who correctly pronounce the name of that orange-flavored ice cream concoction (it's sherBET, people, not sherBERT)... Good humor. And then Scott got to work this morning and had some guy on scene tell him "Don't be such a pestimist." Niiiiiiiice.
I may spend some worthless time thinking of more. Who knows. Weigh in, if'n ya have a suggestion. I'm all ears.