she was wearing a mask, and i didn’t know why. while helping her out of the gurney to transfer to her bed, her husband took her hand and asked her if she was okay. on report, i was never told about the mask. i was curious, but didn’t find the first few minutes of admitting her as the right time to ask.
when i told her i was going to check her temperature, she took off the mask, and then i knew why.
half of her nose was gone, and so was half of her mouth. on top of her upper lip was obviously a grafted skin from i don’t know which part of her body. given the absence of half of her nose and mouth, it was a challenge to understand her speech. i remember the facial cancer history, but i wasn’t told about about the extent of her previous surgery. a surgery quite extreme that i’m sure now, she didn’t look any closer to how she looked then.
while taking her medical history, H, her husband filled in on most of the questions. i couldn’t help but notice their interlocked fingers, and the loving and tender gaze he threw at her after every sentence. that look of pure, unselfish love that seems so difficult to stumble upon these days.
when asked if she ever had history of taking illegal drugs, he said no. then he joked: “the only drug she’s ever tasted and got addicted to is my love.” he winked at her, and i smiled. yes, the line was cheesy, but there was something about the way he said it, and the way he winked at her that made it sound cute and endearing. i know, i’m such a hopeless romantic.
anyway, they’ve been married 52 years. they have 2 kids, 7 grandkids, 4 great grandkids. the cancer and the surgery were 4 years ago. i don’t know how she looked then, but now, she was what society would call “ugly”. but he didn’t care. he called her baby, asked her if she wanted him to stay, asked her if she wanted him to take her jewelry home. stroked her hair, straightened out her gown and sheets, covered her up with the blanket, and kissed her goodbye.
tests and procedures will be done. they will find out why she was bleeding form her rectum. i know that cancer is a possibility, and i’m scared for them. believe me, no matter how real and common it is these days to have cancer, hearing the word still jolts every feeling, sane human being. the vision of H suffering the loss of someone so dear to him seemed far off, but it was real. it was far off but predictably painful. and sad.
it was 1:00 in the morning. i thanked them for patiently answering my questions, asked her if i can get her anything, then, i left the room. i was plugging the computer near the door when i heard him say “can i just lie down with you for a few minutes before i go home? she was probably embarassed, so she told him to “no, just go home, it’s getting late.”
i smiled. their sweet, simple conversation warmed my heart. it warmed my heart so much, that i got emotional. i wanted to thank them for doing that to me, but they didn’t know the rest of the story, so i kept my thanks to myself, told him to drive safely, and assured him i’ll take care of her while he’s gone.
in the past few weeks, i have known three couples whose marriage ended in divorce.
the first one were married for over 4 years. the guy hooked up with some other women, and didn’t even have the decency to pay his share of the mortgage. the anticipated foreclosure is getting near, a stressor that pushes my coworker to cry everytime she talked about him/them.
the second couple were married for over 14 years. he left her and their kids when she was pregnant with their third child, their second child was 1 year old, and their first one was 8. he said “i just don’t love you anymore.”
the third couple were married 5 years ago. he asked for a divorce, nonchalantly saying “our marriage was a mistake, i don’t really love you.”
so much for the “till death do us part” line of the vow huh? i’m sure there is much more to their stories, and i’m sure they have thought about this very difficult decision and found it the best for every party. i’m not saying they should stay together just to fulfill my illusion of happy ever after. i’m just saying that despite the usual divorce stories, i still can’t help but feel sad everytime i hear news of people breaking apart, unhappily saying goodbye.
that’s why the little encounter with H and his wife is such a big deal to me. just when i was losing hope in the idea of forever. just when i was reminded to be cynical about love because divorce is just everywhere, and seem to happen to everyone…
a couple like H and his wife comes along,
and without them knowing,
i’m back at working on maintaining the balance.
balance between hopelessness and hope.
a good thing, if you ask any shrink.
she was wearing a mask, and i didn’t know why. while helping her out of the gurney to transfer to her bed, her husband took her hand and asked her if she was okay. on report, i was never told about the mask. i was curious, but didn’t find the first few minutes of admitting her as the right time to ask.
when i told her i was going to check her temperature, she took off the mask, and then i knew why.
half of her nose was gone, and so was half of her mouth. on top of her upper lip was obviously a grafted skin from i don’t know which part of her body. given the absence of half of her nose and mouth, it was a challenge to understand her speech. i remember the facial cancer history, but i wasn’t told about about the extent of her previous surgery. a surgery quite extreme that i’m sure now, she didn’t look any closer to how she looked then.
while taking her medical history, H, her husband filled in on most of the questions. i couldn’t help but notice their interlocked fingers, and the loving and tender gaze he threw at her after every sentence. that look of pure, unselfish love that seems so difficult to stumble upon these days.
when asked if she ever had history of taking illegal drugs, he said no. then he joked: “the only drug she’s ever tasted and got addicted to is my love.” he winked at her, and i smiled. yes, the line was cheesy, but there was something about the way he said it, and the way he winked at her that made it sound cute and endearing. i know, i’m such a hopeless romantic.
anyway, they’ve been married 52 years. they have 2 kids, 7 grandkids, 4 great grandkids. the cancer and the surgery were 4 years ago. i don’t know how she looked then, but now, she was what society would call “ugly”. but he didn’t care. he called her baby, asked her if she wanted him to stay, asked her if she wanted him to take her jewelry home. stroked her hair, straightened out her gown and sheets, covered her up with the blanket, and kissed her goodbye.
tests and procedures will be done. they will find out why she was bleeding form her rectum. i know that cancer is a possibility, and i’m scared for them. believe me, no matter how real and common it is these days to have cancer, hearing the word still jolts every feeling, sane human being. the vision of H suffering the loss of someone so dear to him seemed far off, but it was real. it was far off but predictably painful. and sad.
it was 1:00 in the morning. i thanked them for patiently answering my questions, asked her if i can get her anything, then, i left the room. i was plugging the computer near the door when i heard him say “can i just lie down with you for a few minutes before i go home? she was probably embarassed, so she told him to “no, just go home, it’s getting late.”
i smiled. their sweet, simple conversation warmed my heart. it warmed my heart so much, that i got emotional. i wanted to thank them for doing that to me, but they didn’t know the rest of the story, so i kept my thanks to myself, told him to drive safely, and assured him i’ll take care of her while he’s gone.
in the past few weeks, i have known three couples whose marriage ended in divorce.
the first one were married for over 4 years. the guy hooked up with some other women, and didn’t even have the decency to pay his share of the mortgage. the anticipated foreclosure is getting near, a stressor that pushes my coworker to cry everytime she talked about him/them.
the second couple were married for over 14 years. he left her and their kids when she was pregnant with their third child, their second child was 1 year old, and their first one was 8. he said “i just don’t love you anymore.”
the third couple were married 5 years ago. he asked for a divorce, nonchalantly saying “our marriage was a mistake, i don’t really love you.”
so much for the “till death do us part” line of the vow huh? i’m sure there is much more to their stories, and i’m sure they have thought about this very difficult decision and found it the best for every party. i’m not saying they should stay together just to fulfill my illusion of happy ever after. i’m just saying that despite the usual divorce stories, i still can’t help but feel sad everytime i hear news of people breaking apart, unhappily saying goodbye.
that’s why the little encounter with H and his wife is such a big deal to me. just when i was losing hope in the idea of forever. just when i was reminded to be cynical about love because divorce is just everywhere, and seem to happen to everyone…
a couple like H and his wife comes along,
and without them knowing,
i’m back at working on maintaining the balance.
balance between hopelessness and hope.
a good thing, if you ask any shrink.