Physically I am doing very well. By eating well [i.e. lots of fruit and veg and no crap] and taking appropriate levels of insulin, my blood sugar level has been normal.
I feel so much better for it. Eating the right food and controlling my glucose makes such a difference to my energy levels. There has been no afternoon naps for me in ages. This has also allowed me to get back to my vigorous exercise regime so I am feeling okay body image wise.
Mentally things are stable. Not needed any more promazine. No intrusive thought, no wanting to; or partaking in; self harm. No crying. Continuing on my 40mg a day of prozac. It may sound conceited but I am really proud myself because not getting that job; and then being caught banking - they were potential triggers for me to deteriorate. But I didn't. I managed to rationalise things in my head and not ruminate too much and just get on with things.
It's embarrasing to admit it but my drive and determination to not be off sick from work is fuelled not by the fact that my sickness record played a part in not getting that job; but by my desperate need to work bank shifts/overtime. I literally have no money at all. It is horrible. I am counting down the hours to July 28th . Working on your days off isn't great because obviously it tires you out and means you have no time to do anything else; but needs must.
My last absence from work due to mentalness was 7 weeks long; from 12th August - 28th September 08. I can appreciate now; with the benefit of hindsight; that I was ill at the time, hence the admission and the crisis team intervention.
However it still looms large, an ugly blot on my sickness record. I have set myself the goal of making it to 28th September 09 without any further sickness. Then, excluding the time I had off because I was having surgery on my hand (and no one can deny that that wasn't a genuine accident. There's no way I can be held responsible for that) I will have only had 4 days off in the past year, which I think is okay.
It's been an uneventful week. My appointment with DrF was cancelled because he had double booked. I think its a good sign though - he chose to cancel me rather than the other patient, presumably because I'm alright. My appointment with the pump nurse was also cancelled; because she is sick. I made it to the GP's and topped up on supplies, and, perhaps my only bit of exciting news I GOT FLUOXITINE PUT ON REPEAT PRESCRIPTION!! a month at a time. Wahoo! Hopefully no more wasting GP's time