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Don't Sit Under The Knittin' Tree With Anybody Else But Me....

Posted Jan 04 2010 5:40pm

A Suburban Bedtime Story:

Once upon a Snowy Night, Blaine and Bo Had A Conversation:

Bo: "Can you believe I found this horrible bag while cleaning out my knitting closet? It was filled to the brim with Lorna's Laces yarn. I must have knitted that stupid bag 10 years ago---maybe when I was trying to learn modular knitting....or how to knit something onto another knitted piece...or simply what to do with scraps of yarn. It's the most damndest, ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life."

(Is "damndest" a real word?)

Blaine: (Smiles but doesn't say anything....)

Bo again: "Well... just look at the ridiculous thing! It actually hurts my eyes with its ugliness. I shouldn't even call myself a KNITTER! It's the most pitifullest thing I've ever seen knitted in all my born days! And Good Lord.... but I can't believe I actually tried to knit a little red flower onto it! Like that was going to make it more attractive, huh! God, WHAT POSSESSED me to knit that thing?"

(Is "pitifullest" a real word?)

Blaine: (still smiling and not saying anything...)

Bo again: "Okay, look---I know you think it's ugly. Anybody would. Especially the back side of it. Just go ahead and say it's hideous---I can take it."

Blaine (finaly, after sighing): "You used to hide vodka in it. And every time I'd find it in there, I'd take the vodka out and fill the damn thing with skeins of yarn."

Me (after a long pause....): "So THAT'S what happened to my vodka. I just figured I'd been too drunk to remember where I'd hidden it..."

Blaine (again smiling): "And the really funny thing was watching you try to surreptitiously tear the house apart looking for the vodka....heh..."


The End


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