In the interest of remaining positive and thus trying to keep my head above figurative water, let me recount a few of the shitty things that didn't befall me this past week:
1) Nobody I love died.
2) I didn't lose my job.
3) I didn't find out I have two months to live.
4) I didn't get hit by lightning.
5) I didn't electrocute myself in the bathtub.
6) I wasn't kidnapped by a band of gypsies.
7) I didn't find out I was pregnant.
8) I wasn't probed by aliens.
9) I didn't have a boulder fall on me and thus have to saw off my own arm to survive.
10) I didn't lose, drop, or otherwise kill my iPhone.
11) My kids and parents didn't disown me.
12) I didn't get bitten by a shark.
13) I didn't blow myself up in a freak barbecuing accident.
14) To my knowledge, I didn't kill anybody.
15) I wasn't mauled by a grizzly bear or an angry sasquatch or an alligator.
There, now I guess it could be worse than being 9k further in debt, alone, and having moved two blocks away by way of a very scenic transcontinental route.
Always an adventure, people. Hang on.
1) Nobody I love died.
2) I didn't lose my job.
3) I didn't find out I have two months to live.
4) I didn't get hit by lightning.
5) I didn't electrocute myself in the bathtub.
6) I wasn't kidnapped by a band of gypsies.
7) I didn't find out I was pregnant.
8) I wasn't probed by aliens.
9) I didn't have a boulder fall on me and thus have to saw off my own arm to survive.
10) I didn't lose, drop, or otherwise kill my iPhone.
11) My kids and parents didn't disown me.
12) I didn't get bitten by a shark.
13) I didn't blow myself up in a freak barbecuing accident.
14) To my knowledge, I didn't kill anybody.
15) I wasn't mauled by a grizzly bear or an angry sasquatch or an alligator.
There, now I guess it could be worse than being 9k further in debt, alone, and having moved two blocks away by way of a very scenic transcontinental route.
Always an adventure, people. Hang on.