In the interest of remaining positive and thus trying to keep my head above figurative water, let me recount a few of the shitty things that didn't befall me this past week:
1) Nobody I love died. 2) I didn't lose my job. 3) I didn't find out I have two months to live. 4) I didn't get hit by lightning. 5) I didn't electrocute myself in the bathtub. 6) I wasn't kidnapped by a band of gypsies. 7) I didn't find out I was pregnant. 8) I wasn't probed by aliens. 9) I didn't have a boulder fall on me and thus have to saw off my own arm to survive. 10) I didn't lose, drop, or otherwise kill my iPhone. 11) My kids and parents didn't disown me. 12) I didn't get bitten by a shark. 13) I didn't blow myself up in a freak barbecuing accident. 14) To my knowledge, I didn't kill anybody. 15) I wasn't mauled by a grizzly bear or an angry sasquatch or an alligator.
There, now I guess it could be worse than being 9k further in debt, alone, and having moved two blocks away by way of a very scenic transcontinental route.